Pondering 2013: Part 1

As 2013 quickly comes to an end, I am taking with me all the things I have learned throughout the year.   As in previous years, I learned quite a bit about myself.   Well, maybe not so much learned as finally accepted.

There’s no going back and changing what I did, didn’t do, say or didn’t say.   I can only say I’m sorry for being such a dip-shit and hope that one day the people in my life will forgive me.    Taking the first step, I forgave myself.   And I work each day to stay in the energy of forgiveness.    Which has helped me become stronger.    That strength led to me cutting family ties.  

As I sit here writing this, I’m reminded of a scene from What Dreams May Come.   You know the one, where Robin Williams’ character finds his wife who just committed suicide?   Like that character, I fought my way through heaven in order to be with people who made it painfully obvious they wanted nothing to do with me.   Like the wife, they are emotionally damaged, choosing to live their lives as a victim, creating their own special kind of hell in which to dwell.   Then here I come fighting all of heaven to join them.  Yea, imagine that someone would choose hell over heaven just to be with miserable, selfish, self-centered, thieving, hypocritical assholes!   

Crazy.  I know!  But now, now I've finally accepted the fact that I don't belong there with any of them.  Yea, I knew it all along.  But it just took me a good long while, an ocean of tears and several good swift kicks in the ass to finally just MOVE ON!   And too, to acknowledge and, yes accept, that  Hell is a place I no longer wish to be.      

So I say a final farewell to all those who rather live in misery and be a victim!  Who would rather wallow in the depths of despair in Hell than enjoy the splendors of Heaven.

For 2014, I came up with a Mission Statement.  It will be my guide throughout the year.  Granted, I’ll probably add to it as time goes by.  But for now, here is what it looks like: 

My purpose is to express my willingness to learn, willingness to change and willingness to be the change I wish to see in the world by being committed to ongoing lessons provided through various sources, making decisions and immediately acting upon them and surrounding myself with people of the same mind set.

How I love the whole idea of 2014!!!   Which is why I got started early! 

Happy New Year Everybody!