Dear Julia:
Thank you for contacting Santa Claus. We appreciate all the letters and emails you have been sending us over the years. It is so heartwarming to see that people still do believe.
In response to your on-going request, please be advised that we here at the North Pole sympathize with your current challenges. In fact, our special task force has devoted many, many -- MANY years conducting in-depth research and numerous case studies on this very situation. And you will be pleased to know that our team of experts has discovered the root causes of the on-going overwhelming increasing stupidity problem.
They are as follows:
- malcontent and constant confusion within the religious factions and/or alleged spiritual communities;
- political buffoonary;
- internet social networks;
- continuous improper use of cell phones (texting while driving ranking high on the list)
- "reality tv";
- political correctness; and
- refusal to think for themselves
Seeing that these problems are way above and beyond Santa's pay grade, it pains us to inform you that your request for the end of all stupid people is once again ... DENIED!
Merry Christmas!
Tinkle Tinklestein
Head Elf
Merry Christmas Everyone!
