The Empress of the Known & Unknown Universes™ And Motherhood

I wrote this article six years ago today.  Seeing it is again Mother's Day I thought I would share it with you.

Enjoy!

~*~*~*~*~*~

For most of my adult life I have been a mom. Half of that has been spent being a single mom. But I'm not your typical mother by any means!   Gross understatement if there ever was one, I know!

Truth is  I am not one of these mothers who is a PTA member or who is the first on the scene with baked goods on hand for her kid's bake sales, I don't do car pools and arts & crafts aren't my thing.

I can't remember the last time I went to the beauty shop to get my nails and hair done. In fact, there are days when my hair hasn't been combed or my teeth been brushed -- which is perhaps the only time everyone leaves me alone! My cuticles are torn and raggedy the majority of the time due to me having to be Josephine the Plumber, Harriet the Handy-woman and Mildred the Maid!

I have all sorts of make up ... but rarely apply it. I've come to enjoy the au naturale look now. And though Estee Lauder "Youth Dew" is my favorite perfume, the only scent I sport these days is Suave™ Deodorant.

My normal daily attire no longer consists of neatly pressed shirts, slacks and/or skirts that were perfectly accessorized with pristine jewelry and scarves and the like. These have been replaced by a pair of over sized sweat pants or pajama bottoms, matching equally over sized shirts, a pair of socks and slippers or flip flops--depending on the weather. The only accessory nowadays is a matching scrunchie to keep me from looking like Medusa's bastard sister!

I am not someone who projects a "perfect" home setting 24/7.  Reason being, I don't give a rat's ass what other people think. Unlike my mother whose focus was always on what the neighbors had on their so called minds.

In truth, you won't find any June Cleavers or Donna Reeds types here. My house isn't filthy--just cluttered. Though I do seem to vaguely remember a time when clutter was not part of my home decor. But that was before I became a mom.

Back when my kids were younger ... my house was filled with the usual assortment of the latest action figures, dolls, stuffed animals and TV cartoon characters, videos and games. Couldn't walk through the house without bumping into, stepping on or sitting down on one or the other.

Nothing like pulling one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles out of your ass before you take your first sip of coffee to get your mornings started! Let me tell ya!

Now that my youngest is a teenager, my house is cluttered with books, dirty dishes, shoes and varied articles of clothing that I am constantly reminding her to pick up, put away and/or wash! oy!

I know there are some moms who keep a clutter free clean home. These are the women who are the Martha Stewart graduates. You know the type. Those women who are immaculate and keep the proverbial home fires burning all the while looking like they just stepped out of the beauty parlor as they tote their kids and their kids' friends everywhere, do all the shopping, cooking, gardening, not miss one PTA meeting or school event, run some auxillary, oversee some bake and/or rummage sale, volunteer and what have you. Yea real Stepford Wives-like.   I do admit that I sometimes suspect they are all related to that chick on Bewitched!.

Don't get me wrong! I don't envy these women, I just want to know where in the hell do they have the time and energy???!!!!!

Now once upon a time -- B.T.C.C. (before the children came) -- I was a young, beautiful, intelligent and some might even go as far as saying -- sane -- woman.

I am still considered beautiful. And though I am no longer young -- I am young at heart and in mind. I will be turning 50 this year--and my mind still thinks it's 16 yrs old!!! Of course, my body reminds me constantly it isn't. Especially when I am faced with a flight of stairs!

I am still intelligent ...but only when my memory doesn't fail me. I'm pretty sure I had a photogenic memory once. But it appears I forgot to replace the film one too many times over the years.

The good news, I do remember the good times I had over the 20 plus years I have been a mother.

Though I don't remember much, if anything, of my life before becoming a mom -- the photographs in my family album tell me I did in fact had one!

Many years ago, when my oldest son was about 11 years old, he, his grandmother and I were flipping through an old family album at his grandmother's house. He spotted a picture of a beautiful young woman with perfectly coiffed hair, dressed in a blue velvet evening gown, wisps of curls brushed across her bare milky white shoulders as she sat upon an oval Queen Ann styled chair, posed in an elegant queenly fashion. My son gasped as he gazed at the picture and exclaimed: "who's the babe?" To which my mother replied with a laugh ... "that babe is your mother!" Naturally my son stared at me and asked ... "What happened to you?"

Smart Ass! Don't know where he gets it!

The photographs aren't the only reminders of a life I had once upon a time.

The worn out sneakers and various tee shirts, jeans and capris that are aligned next to my business suits, party dresses and stiletto heels remind me of the woman I had once been and the woman I am now. The beautiful jewelry and scarves that line the top of my dresser help jog my memory of those days before becoming a mommy.

I seem to recall times when I got excited over the latest fashion. Now my excitement stems from finding the latest new fangled box of detergent on sale or when I find a roll of duct tape in a color I don't yet have. Sad, but true!

There was a time I got all gussied up to attend some fashionable gatherings with adults. Now the only gatherings I attend where there are actual adults are school field trips and the weekly jaunt to the local grocers and malls. Getting gussied up these days means I put on a clean shirt and some pants that aren't sweats or pjs.

With respect to my sanity. Well, that is an issue best left for the courts to decide I suppose. There are days I am certain I am crazier than a horse fly trying to land on a pile of freshly made manure. Times Where clarity, reality and the totally bizarre all seem to be the same exact thing.

Most often than not, I can barely remember what I went in the next room for or where I laid my glasses only to discover that they were still on my face. Caring what others think was never an issue with me, but now ... it's even less of an issue as I can barely remember who any of "those people" are!

According to my children, this makes me crazy. And they should know! After all they know everything!

I don't regret becoming a mother. Even when my kids are all conspiring to either send me to the looney bin or to an early grave (or both!)! Being a mom has been, and continues to be, one of my greatest and most favorite adventures.

If anyone were to ask what the best part of being a mother is  my reply would be ...

Just as all the women before me, being a mom insures the legacy of lunacy we all call motherhood will continue on for generations to come. And in the end, like all those other mothers of generations past, I will have the last laugh!

Because I know, as they knew, that for all the freeze dried bullshit my kids put me through -- my sons and my daughter will have the task of raising children who were worse than them!

Ain't Motherhood Grand? 

About Julia K. Cole

What can you expect from someone who considers Putting Reality Back Into Spirituality a personal calling? Straight forward answers that lead to life-changing experiences on a soul level!

Known as The Empress of the Known & Unknown Universes™ and The Diva of Duct Tape, Julia has made it her personal mission to put Reality back into Spirituality™. Julia sets out to assist people in expanding their conscious awareness through her rather unique and personal take on the human experience. 

In the style of Erma Bombeck, Julia utilizes her own brand of humor and down to earth demeanor to get her messages across in an all so delightful way. 

As a writer, Julia is a virtual powerhouse of creativity.  Among Julia's literary accomplishments is  the  Children of the Luminaries  trilogy;  Book One: The Coming Storm can be purchased by clicking Here.   

Book Two  of the trilogy is due out in the Fall of 2015 and Book Three will be available in 2016.  The long anticipated ZEN of Duct Tape:  An Empress Is Born will be out in 2016.  As well as The Teddy Mitchell Chronicles.

Julia has also contributed to several other publications including Brad Steiger's  Real Zombies, The Living Dead, and Creatures of the Apocalypse  and Marie D. Jones' Destiny vs. Choice 

PLEASE NOTE:  All artwork, unless otherwise specified, are the property of the individual artists themselves. The author of these blogs claims no ownership of the original artwork, but only of the sig tags created using said artwork. Each sig tag shown on these blogs include the appropriate copyright information of the Artists and the unique licensure for use.

Reproduction and copying of said work without proper authority is strictly prohibited Unless otherwise specified, ALL articles on this Blogger are the property of Julia K. Cole.  The ZEN of Duct Tape™, it's name, teachings, modalities, and all excerpts; the nicknames The Empress of the Known & Unknown Universes™ and The Diva of Duct Tape™,  The Duct Tape Diva™; Putting Reality Back Into Spirituality™, Reality back into Spirituality™ are the property and trade marks of Julia K. Cole and are protected under Copy Right Laws both here in the USA and Around The World. 

 

 

To All the men and women who serve in the military and to their families...

WE SALUTE YOU!

From the Pay It Forward Files: Undercover Elves

 Inside a home on Powell Avenue, in the Jacobs neighborhood on Christmas Eve, the stockings were hung ready for Christmas. However, under a small Christmas tree, there were no gifts in sight.

Outside, an undercover operation was going on as several LMPD officers pulled up to the home. 

READ MORE

SOURCE:  http://www.wdrb.com

HOW TO COOK A THANKSGIVING TURKEY

STEP 1: GO BUY A TURKEY 

STEP 2: TAKE A DRINK OF WHISKEY (SCOTCH) 

STEP 3: PUT TURKEY IN THE OVEN 

STEP 4: TAKE ANOTHER 2 DRINKS OF WHISKEY 

STEP 5: SET THE DEGREE AT 375 OVENS 

STEP 6: TAKE 3 MORE WHISKEYS OF DRINK 

STEP 7: TURN OVEN THE ON 

STEP 8: TAKE 4 WHISKS OF DRINKY 

STEP 9: TURK THE BASTEY 

STEP 10: WHISKEY ANOTHER BOTTLE OF GET 

STEP 11: STICK A TURKEY IN THE THERMOMETER 

STEP 12: GLASS YOURSELF A POUR OF WHISKEY 

STEP 13: BAKE THE WHISKEY FOR HOURS 

STEP 14: TEST THE LURKEY FOR NUMBNESS 

STEP 15: TAKE THE OVEN OUT OF THE LURKEY 

STEP 16: FLOOR THE LURKEY UP OFF OF THE PICK 

STEP 17: TURK THE CARVEY 

STEP 18: GET YOURSELF NUTHER SCOTTLE OF BOTCH 

STEP 19: TET THE SABLE AND POUR YOURSELF A GLASS OF TURKEY 

STEP 20: BLESS THE SAYING, PASS AND EAT OUT=2

Tappy Ganks Hiving!

Top Ten Fourth of July Pet Safety Tips

Both the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) and PAW have listed ways you can prevent your holiday celebration from turning into a tragedy. Here are 10 tips on how to keep your pet from panicking this Fourth of July weekend.

10. Keep your Pet Indoors at All Times!

It may seem obvious, but even if your pet is used to being outside, the resulting panic caused by fireworks or other loud noises may make them break their restraint or jump a fence in a terrified attempt to find safety.

9. Don’t Put Insect Repellant on Your Pet that isn’t Specifically for Pet Use

The same tip applies to applying “people” sunscreen on your pet. What isn’t toxic to humans can be toxic to animals. The ASPCA lists the poisonous effects of sunscreen on your pet as, “…drooling, vomiting, diarrhea, excessive thirst and lethargy.” DEET, a common insecticide, may cause neurological issues.

8. Alcoholic Drinks Poison Pets

If your pet drinks alcohol, they can become dangerously intoxicated, go into a coma, or in severe cases, die from respiratory failure. Yes, even beer is toxic; fermented hops and ethanol are poisonous to dogs and cats.

7. Going to a Fireworks Display? Leave Your Pet at Home

The safest place for your pet is at home, not in a crowded, unfamiliar and noisy place. The combination of too many people and loud fireworks will make your beloved pet freak out and desperately seek shelter. Locking them in the car is also not an option; your pet may suffer brain damage and heat stroke.

6. Have Your Pet Properly Identified

If your pet manages to break loose and become lost, without proper identification it will be that much harder to get them back. Consider fitting your pet with microchip identification, ID tags with their name and your phone number, or both. It is also a good idea to have a recent picture of your pets in case you have to put up signs.

CLICK HERE TO READ MORE

Cat Proved to Be a Meow-sive Threat to His Owners

A Portland, Ore. family called 911 after their baby was attacked and they were held hostage in their own bedroom.

The attacker was Lux: the family's 22-lb. cat.

Teresa Barker says the cat scratched her 7-month-old in the face, and when he was kicked for that, everything changed.

The family grabbed the baby, their dog and ran to the back bedroom. That's when they called 9-1-1.

"He's charging us," one of the family members said on the 911 call. "He's at our door. Our bedroom door."

A moment later, the sound of a cat screeching wildly can be heard on the recording.

"Did you hear it?" one of the family members says. "That was the cat!"

"One moment, okay?" the dispatcher replied. "Yeah, I hear him. Keep your door shut, okay?"

Police used a snare and were able to get the cat behind bars in its crate. The family is talking about getting rid of the cat.

The baby is okay.

Sources:

 WDRB News

  NY Daily News.

Dear Alex:

You've always insisted on doing things your  way. And the results of doing it your way have always proven disastrous for not only yourself, but for everyone involved.

Contrary to what you may think or believe,  no one forced you into making the choices you'e made and continue to make.   No one has forced you into living a life of misery.  Your situation is the combination of insisting  on doing things your way (even though it never works out for you) and from the poor choices you've made and continue to make.  

With respect to Shelby.  Yes, me and the rest of this family dropped the fucking ball.  I take responsibility for my part.  And My Part Alone!      I’m not taking responsibility for anyone else’s reactions, actions, in-actions, etc. Not my job!  I’m not taking responsibility for Tara, Bobbie Lynn, Lloyd, Frankie or Betty and their individual and collective failures to take any necessary actions.    Again, not my job!

Again, for emphasis, I can, and will, only take responsibility for me!  No one Else! 

I’m not taking responsibility for you.  And I’m certainly not taking responsibility for Ashley!  

I will remind you again and again, however many times it takes, that you’re the one that brought that person into our lives.  You knew how Ashley was and is.    You know her violent tendencies. She's has, on more than one occasion,  beat your ass into the ground.  And yet you brought her around Shelby.  You had numerous options.  But you refused to take them. 

So as far as I am concerned, both you and Tara share responsibility for what occurred!      And YES!  Tara, IS  MAINLY RESPONSIBLE!  But as she has told you, has told me and has told numerous others countless times...she just could not be bothered!     So it fell on you!

At least Ashley is in jail paying for her actions!    In truth, both you and Tara belong in jail right along with Ashley!  Tara in particular and most especially.  Not just  for thinking she could just toss her mother to the curb like yesterday's trash, but for being a thief and liar. 

And you for just being a dumb ass!

And by the way,  my  conscience is clear.   I did try to get Shelby help.  It was shortly after mother died.  But guess what?   I was told to mind my own fucking business!  I was told I had no legal standing. I  was told to stand down!   So I did.  


Alex, you can sit there and feel sorry for yourself all you want. But all your self-pity isn't going to change the past.  It's not going to change anyone who doesn't want,  or choose, to change.  But most importantly,  your little hissy fits and pity parties aren't going to change the truth of what is!

FYI:  Hissy fits and pity parties do not change the Truth!

And the truth is, you've made bad choices,  you continue to make even more bad choices each day.  And you still insist on doing everything your way.  Even though it always ends badly for you and anyone involved!

You can sit there and assign blame all day long.  You can waste away the hours drudging  up the past of what was said, done, etc. But you know what Alex?  Assigning Blame does not change the Truth!

And by the way Alex.  Everyone who knows you knows the real reason you went to live with  Shelby.    You’re not fooling anyone pal!  Well maybe yourself.  But no one else!  So you can get off your high horse now!   You've lived rent free for how many years now?  Going straight from living off my mother to living off Shelby.  So give it a rest!

FYI:  Putting on a Pretense does not change the Truth!

You see Alex,  I no  longer have this desire to be a part of such dramas.   I've wasted enough time and energy as it is.       I'm too old, too tired and just plain too sick of living in a reality where it's nothing but a continuous flow of freeze dried bullshit.  But I needed to get this off my chest.  I needed to air out this booger so I could move on and away from you, this asshole family, and all of your dramas!

And too, I wanted to pass on this message.  So here's the bottom line.  

You can keep doing things your way until the cows come home; and you can keep making all the bad choices you can come up with.  I mean, after all, doing things your way, making shitty choices has worked out so wonderfully for you thus far!  Right?  


Or 

You can pull your head out of your ass and try something that actually resembles some form of sanity!

Here's a Hint:  Try making a different fucking choice and see where it takes you!    Start with pulling your enormous size head out of your ass!

Paying It Forward In 2014

Is Paying  It Forward In 2014 on Your List Of Things to Do?  

Here are just a few ways you can check it off!

• Volunteer at your local Homeless Shelter. 

• Serve a hot meal to a neighbor or a stranger if you so desire.

• Visit/Volunteer at  a Nursing Home and/or Children's home.

• Your Local Shelter Is In Need Year Round!

• Foster, Rescue or Adopt a Pet from your Local Shelter.Shelters are Always looking for donations in the form of money, blankets, cleaning supplies, food, toys. 

• Volunteer to hold and play with kittens and pups and/or walk a dog at Your local shelters.

• Shovel snow, salt down sidewalks, walkways of neighbors, local restaurants, stores

• Clean public toilets

• Check in on your Elderly and/or disabled neighbors to make sure they have what they need with respect to heating (or cooling during warmer months), blankets, plumbing in working order, etc.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

PET FOOD BANK:

Donate Food for Needy families with pets.

Find one in your Area 

Here in Louisville you can donate to No Kill Louisville:

http://www.nokill-louisville.com/petfoodbank.htm


If there isn't one in your area,  then start one!

 
Cross-Post, Tweet and/or post on your other online social networks!

See a pet in need on Face Book?  Then pay it forward by cross-posting, tweeting and/or adding to your other online social networks.  They DO work when it comes to helping others in need! 


The Toys For Tots Foundation
www.toysfortots.org

Feed The Children
www.feedthechildren.org/

The American Red Cross
www.redcross.org/Donate
 

These are only a few suggestions on how you can Pay It Forward  In 2014

PLEASE NOTE:  All artwork, unless otherwise specified, are the property of the individual artists themselves. The author of these blogs claims no ownership of the original artwork, but only of the sig tags created using said artwork. Each sig tag shown on these blogs include the appropriate copyright information of the Artists and the unique licensure for use.

Reproduction and copying of said work without proper authority is strictly prohibited

Pondering 2013: Part 1

As 2013 quickly comes to an end, I am taking with me all the things I have learned throughout the year.   As in previous years, I learned quite a bit about myself.   Well, maybe not so much learned as finally accepted.

There’s no going back and changing what I did, didn’t do, say or didn’t say.   I can only say I’m sorry for being such a dip-shit and hope that one day the people in my life will forgive me.    Taking the first step, I forgave myself.   And I work each day to stay in the energy of forgiveness.    Which has helped me become stronger.    That strength led to me cutting family ties.  

As I sit here writing this, I’m reminded of a scene from What Dreams May Come.   You know the one, where Robin Williams’ character finds his wife who just committed suicide?   Like that character, I fought my way through heaven in order to be with people who made it painfully obvious they wanted nothing to do with me.   Like the wife, they are emotionally damaged, choosing to live their lives as a victim, creating their own special kind of hell in which to dwell.   Then here I come fighting all of heaven to join them.  Yea, imagine that someone would choose hell over heaven just to be with miserable, selfish, self-centered, thieving, hypocritical assholes!   

Crazy.  I know!  But now, now I've finally accepted the fact that I don't belong there with any of them.  Yea, I knew it all along.  But it just took me a good long while, an ocean of tears and several good swift kicks in the ass to finally just MOVE ON!   And too, to acknowledge and, yes accept, that  Hell is a place I no longer wish to be.      

So I say a final farewell to all those who rather live in misery and be a victim!  Who would rather wallow in the depths of despair in Hell than enjoy the splendors of Heaven.

For 2014, I came up with a Mission Statement.  It will be my guide throughout the year.  Granted, I’ll probably add to it as time goes by.  But for now, here is what it looks like: 

My purpose is to express my willingness to learn, willingness to change and willingness to be the change I wish to see in the world by being committed to ongoing lessons provided through various sources, making decisions and immediately acting upon them and surrounding myself with people of the same mind set.

How I love the whole idea of 2014!!!   Which is why I got started early! 

Happy New Year Everybody!

Christmas and New Year's Begins TODAY!

Yep!  Yep! Yep! I've decided not to wait until January 1st to begin my New Year.   And too,  I decided not to wait until Christmas to give myself a few much needed gifts.

 I figure why put off one or two weeks that I can do today?  Right?

Seeing how it's been years in the making, I resolved to cut a dozen or so stragglers (Most of which are blood related) out of my life once and for all.    With the exception of my three children, everyone else in that so called family is hereby gone from my life.  

Not that they will notice mind you.  Seeing how I am the invisible woman and all.  A Nobody! 

And yes, I have actually been told I am nobody in that family.  More than once or twice!  

After 50 plus years of trying to bond with these mindless and clueless assholes, and trying to be a "family,"  I've decided to say so long, fare thee well, adieu, bye-bye...GOOD RIDDANCE once and for all!  

Again, they won't notice.  Not that it really matters that they notice.    I notice!  And in this particular scenario, I'm the only one who actually counts!

And yes!  I'm a happier and more fulfilled person because I'm  going into 2014 without them!

After all these years of yearning to be a part of a family and never seeing it come to fruition, I am finally letting it and them all go!  Really and truly, with all my heart and soul, let them, and their endless stream of bat shit crazy dramas, GO!  

Hmm, I'm finally ready to do all that!  And I Have! 
Like I said, it's been a decision that's been years in the making.   While I have been slowly cutting family members loose one by one, some of which I had to cut loose several times, I can honestly say this is IT!!!!  This is the final good-bye.  And let me just say that cutting the ties this time around actually feels different.   In fact, it is different this time around.  Can't explain it.  It just is. 

Maybe the difference is I'm finally ready to let go.   To Really Let Go!  Yea, that sounds good!  Let's  go with that!

As for any non-related stragglers...you're already gone, gone, GONE!  And No!  I won't miss you cause you're Gone!    

*~*~*~*~*

Although...it does make you wonder why a person would continue to put themselves through endless heartache like I have all these years.  Oh, who am I kidding?  I already know why.    I know it  all boils down to acceptance.    Of course, that leads into my next question...why would anyone want to be accepted by a bunch of people who treat them like they don't even exist?  Or treat you like you've committed some crime or about to commit some crime?

*~*~*~*~*  

Though  it does play a huge part in the great scheme of things, for me it wasn't just about acceptance.  It was also about being seen.   Seen as a human being, a loved one, a member of the family.  

Sadly, when one of those ass hats finally did "see me" they treated me like I was some kind of outsider or some kind of foreign double agent.    Someone who had to get "special permission" or wait until an escort could be obtain in order for me to visit or be a part of a family situation, experience, etc.  

Is it me?  Or does that sound royally fucked up?

Okay, so to give you an idea what I'm talking about,  a few years ago when my mother was still alive,  my name was conveniently left off a list given to my mother's nurse.   It was a  list of mother's children and grand-children.   What struck me as odd, my one brother who had pre-deceased mother was on that list!    

So very nice to know that the dead get more respect and recognition than I do! oy!

At any rate, when I went to visit mother, I had to show I.D. and bring in my youngest son (who's name WAS on the list!) to prove I wasn't some Ninja  assassin or something!

And this is one of many examples of the horseshit stunts these fuck tards have pulled over the years.

 Hard to believe ain't it?  That THESE are the type of people I wanted to be with???!   Seriously!  oy!    Makes you wonder how really sane I am...don't it?

*~*~*~*~*

My long time friend and I had a rather intense conversation a few weeks back regarding all of this.    And he really drove the point home!

 He asked,  "Imagine there is a room with a dozen vicious dogs with rabies. Now, I ask, would you try to get in that room with them?"  (of course not! was my reply)  With hands on hips, and a very stern look, he then asked,  "Then why do you insist on being with people who are just as vicious?  Just as rabid?" 

Good point!   He's right!  (don't tell him I said that please!  *LOL*)   And it was at that moment that damn proverbial light bulb clicked on!   I guess I just needed that one last shove in the right direction.  

Don't get me wrong, I'm a little sadden that it came down to this.  But as I mentioned above, it's been years in the making.  There's only so much one person can take.   And honestly, I've taken more than my fair share.  Several times!

Seeing how it's Christmas, I decided that its time for others to enjoy the bliss of heartache and horseshit.  *Big Evil Grin*

Ahead of me is a new road.  A Road that is lit up with all sorts of bright lights.  Interesting!  I never noticed that road before!  Guess those new freeze dried bullshit wipers I got actually work!  Huh?  *LOL*

*~*~*~*~*

I've given myself the gift of   Making decisions, sticking to them, and making allowances where I need to.    


Merry Christmas Everybody!

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