Forgiveness: Part 2 ~ Forgiving Self

When it comes to genuinely forgiving -- I fall short.  Way short!

I know this only because … I can rattle off the names of a half dozen people  who have gone out of their way to slander me, hurt me and my family in some way.   And not only that,   every once in a while -- I actually take a few minutes to envision these assholes  being trampled by a flock of 100 foot mutant chickens.   It puts a smile on my face!   Makes me giggle! 

Seriously -- who wouldn’t laugh at the thought of someone running from a gigantic chicken?


Don’t get me wrong -- I don’t spend too much time on these fantasies.   Those morons aren’t worth the time and energy.  But still … whenever I need a good laugh  … I just flip on that imagination switch and let those mutant chickens run rampant!

*~*~*

Entertaining thoughts such as these is what  EFT Practitioner Margaret Lynch refers to as “Negative Pleasures.”   According to Margaret, negative pleasures are one of the many ways we do battle with ourselves.  Granted,  while these negative pleasures do have their humorous side, they tend to keep us stuck  And being stuck  keeps us in “battle mode.”  Being in battle mode prevents us from living in freedom. 

As human experiencers -- living in freedom is our ultimate goal.

But how do you get past  being stuck in battle mode when the planet is over run by  the L.E.A. --League of Extraordinary Assholes?

Well it ain’t easy!  Then again … no one said it would be.  However,  we have at our disposal a wide range of tools,  methods and modalities  for  dealing with the hardcore members of the LEA.  One of which is EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) a.k.a. tapping.  

EFT is astoundingly helpful in releasing whatever unwanted and unneeded energies floating in and around our bodies.   However, when combined with other healing modalities, such as Ho’Oponopono, I have discovered that my  tapping  has an even more profound impact.

But don't just take my word for it -- try it out for yourself!

You can check out some of the free EFT sessions on You Tube with a  host of expert EFT Techs such as Margaret Lynch, Brad Yates, and Pamela Bruner.

*~*~*~*~*

Now when doing any type of  healing modality,  I always start with myself.  Reason being, like all of you, I carry around this guilt and shame for being a "secret member" of the L.E.A.  And too, I have a boat load of negative pleasures that I indulge in now and then.    While it does make me smile, I do have a bit of shame for visualizing someone’s demise.   So the very  first person who gets the healing  is me!

Why do I start with myself, you may ask?  Simple.  First of all,  on whole, we all tend to overlook our self when it comes to maintaining any level of health.  Be it spiritual, physical, emotional and/or mental.  We all tend to put ourselves last.     

Many years ago, I remember someone stating that we take better care of our vehicles than we do ourselves.  Not sure who originally said it -- but whoever it was they were one very observant cookie!

 Secondly, and most importantly,  forgiveness is really about Self anyways.  We are the ones who are holding on to the memories and experiences.  We are the ones living and reliving those episodes over and over again.   So it's only logical that we begin with Self!

In case of emergency ...
place the oxygen mask over your face FIRST!  

Then proceed to assist others!

If you ever traveled by airplane, you are familiar with these instructions given before take off.    These  same instructions hold true for any healing work!

Heal your Self -- FIRST!  

And ... The first steps to healing our Self begins with forgiveness of One's Self!

*~*~*~*~*

While forgiving others may prove difficult -- forgiving ourselves is a seemingly impossible and unreachable goal.  

There are endless reasons why we refuse to forgive ourselves.  Irregardless of the many reasons you can name -- it all comes down to one solitary belief … unworthiness. 

Unworthiness.  Worthlessness.  Low or non-existent Self-Worth.

Somewhere along the way … we were convinced that we are the most worthless beings on the face on  Planet Earth.  While the belief of unworthiness could have been triggered anywhere during the course of your life, chances are  it all stems from early childhood.   But only you can know for certain.  To find out, you (yes YOU) will have to take the time to literally dig through the huge piles of emotional bullshit to find the point of origin. 

It isn’t easy.  No one said it would be!  It will take time and patience to sift through all that crap.  And a lot of hankies! 

And folks … There are no short cuts to this process!  Trust me, if there was … I would have found them and used them-- a LONG time ago!

*~*~*

For me personally, my point of origin was easily detected.    The events compounding these beliefs of unworthiness is a very long list!   Trekking back in time, facing  the point of origin of my beliefs of unworthiness was heartbreaking.    But the more I went back, the more information I gleaned.  And the more information  I gleaned, the more my awareness expanded.  And the more my awareness expanded, the more my heart opened and allowed the forgiveness to flow more freely.

Coming  into the present -- I now can see with crystal clarity what my choices as a young child had set in motion.  And too, how The Universe, in it’s infinite wisdom, had begun to gently nudge me out of that mindset.

And how did it do this?

By placing in my path the same type of people, situations and experiences with the same exact messages of unworthiness!

*~*~*

I don’t know if you ever noticed this  -- but The Universe has this two by four to the side of the head method it implements!

Of course, it usually starts out with a ruler.   First it begins with a really subtle thump on the noggin.  If you get the lesson from that initial tap-- then you’re good to go! On to the next lesson!  Woo Hoo!!!   But ignore that little thump and the next thing you know … the ruler has been turned into a two by four … and before you have time to blink … BAM!  Right up side the head!  And you have no choice but pay attention to the lessons The Universe is providing!

Ever notice that?  Okay, maybe it’s just me then!  However, my point being … ignoring an issue -- any issue -- leads to  more of the same, each time it returns is more intense.  And to make matters worse -- ignoring issues tends to mount even more  feelings of unworthiness!   So before you know it -- you are caught in this vicious cycle of self-abuse.  Before too long you wind up  in a sea of utter despair.

As you  find yourself barely floating along--you manage to muster up enough strength to ask that all burning question … Why me?!!  Instead of throwing you a life preserver,  The Universe comes in with that two by four  and whacks you again and again! Each blow  harder than the last.

And it just keeps coming ...

Until …

You stop struggling!  Yell “UNCLE!” And proceed to forgiving yourself!

Yep!  The Universe is one helluva motivator -- ain’t it?   Unfortunately,  many view this process as cruel and unusual punishment.  They put all blame on The Universe!   Taking no responsibility for themselves.   Not really taking the time to understand and fully comprehend the way The Universe operates.   Which is … whatever you are in need of learning … The Universe supplies!  In abundance -- I might add!

 So if you are getting WHACKED upside the head … it is YOU who are doing it to YOU!

End of Story!

Now if you have any desire to place a cease and decease order on all the whacking upside the head … you will need to do one little thing.  And that is … genuinely, unconditionally, with love & compassion  -- forgive your … Self!

Yes!  It really is that simple!

The benefits of forgiving Self is infinite!  In fact, something truly marvelous happens when you genuinely forgive your Self!  All of which we will cover in Part 3 of this on-going blog series.

Until then …

Embrace ALL that you Are!
For you ARE … All That There Is!

Known as The Empress of the Known & Unknown Universes™ and The Diva of Duct Tape, Julia has made it her personal mission to put Reality back into Spirituality™. Julia sets out to assist people in expanding their conscious awareness through her rather unique and personal take on the human experience. 

In the style comparable to Erma Bombeck, Julia utilizes her own brand of humor and down to earth demeanor to get her messages across in an all so delightful way.  

PLEASE NOTE:  All artwork, unless otherwise specified, are the property of the individual artists themselves. The author of these blogs claims no ownership of the original artwork, but only of the sig tags created using said artwork. Each sig tag shown on these blogs include the appropriate copyright information of the Artists and the unique licensure for use.

Reproduction and copying of said work without proper authority is strictly prohibited

Embracing All That You Are: Part 4

"...The greatest danger facing us is ourselves, and irrational fear of the unknown. But there's no such thing as 'the unknown,' only things temporarily hidden, temporarily not understood."   - Captain Kirk, Star Trek

*~*~*~*

 As more and more of the human race awaken from their long soul slumber, we all begin to experience back to back shifts of consciousness.

Long gone are the days when those shifts occurred once every few months or years!

Now it's literally every other day! 

As those shifts occur -- we collectively have this knee-jerk reaction  to pull back and go into hiding.  And there's a reason for that.

 As most of you are aware, Ego sees change--any change-- as a threat!

Quick to respond, Ego's first reaction is to talk you into becoming invisible, so as to not be seen by the  perceived enemy.   And if Ego can't get you to comply -- then it begins using guilt, shame, and other various fears. It sets out to  use whatever and whomever is available  to enhance those feelings.  All to force you to cooperate.

On the off chance you do manage to thwart it's maneuvers  through some kind of distraction or by simply ignoring it, you have only a short time before Ego returns for more of the same!

while it may bring you a reprieve -- Ignoring it -- Distracting your attention from it --  are all temporary fixes!  It doesn't resolve anything.   Not really.

Or haven't you noticed that?

A skillful opportunist, Ego will patiently wait for you to be off your guard and apply its tactics again and again and again. Each return-- stronger than before.

So bottom line?  Ignoring or distracting one's self from these feelings -- not a good idea!

*~*~*

In my conversations with my spirit companion Antari, he presented me with the following analogy:

Ego is nothing more than a child who has been left in charge of taking care,  and being given possession of, everything you call your Self.

Now, imagine an actual small child being being put in charge of a room full of  toys and food!  Now imagine the child's reaction if only one or two things are taken from that room?   Now what do you suppose  that child would do in that situation?

Angry, the child throws a major temper tantrum!  Threats ensue, followed by attempts of guilt & shame!

What happens when you ignore the child's fits of anger?  Or attempt to distract it?

Now notice what occurs when you  ...  Firmly, lovingly and patiently reassure the child that it still has more than enough to take care of.  

Take note of what happens when you  tell the child how proud and grateful you are for how brave and wonderful they have been--and continue to be.  Letting the child know what a fantastic job it has done taking care of so much -- for so long!  And all by themselves!

Notice how the child's face lights up!  Beaming with pride!

Now see what takes place when you remind the child, that while you still need them -- will always need them while you're here -- you now need to take some of that stuff out of the room.  Remind them they are still responsible for keeping things safe here in this room.  How you need them to keep it safe!  That no one else can do that job ... but them!  Then watch their reaction.

Now ... Hug that child!  Tell that child how much you love and appreciate them.  And watch the child's reaction.  Tell them how sorry you are for placing such huge responsibilities on it's tiny shoulders.  Tell the child how sorry you are for ignoring it for so long -- for trying to cover it's demands over with other things or ignoring it altogether.  Ask the child for forgiveness as you hold them tight in your arms.    

See what happens?

Like a real child, Ego needs love and reassurance.  It requires--and demands-- acknowledgement, acceptance and appreciation.   And like a real child -- it will perceive you and your actions as a threat if you ignore it or try to distract it as you snatch it's things away.

(Excerpts from The ZEN of Duct Tape: An Empress Is Born)

*~*~*~*

The on-going mindset to distract, eradicate and ignore, not only our own ego, but any emotions we have deemed negative,  has only served to perpetuate a vicious cycle of frustration and aggravation with seemingly no end in sight.

 Aren't you a little tired of that?  Aren't you ready to try something that will get you off that treadmill of perpetual madness?

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing, in the same way -- expecting different results! 

Are you ready to be sane?  Are you prepared to jump off that endless treadmill of doing the same thing -- in the same way .... never realizing your full potential?

Are you ready to Embrace All That You Are?

*~*~*~*

As we continue to expand our awakened state and grow into maturity, many of us are slowly discovering the importance of   Embracing All That You Are.

Embracing All That You Are (which includes your Ego, and all those emotions it brings) allows all aspects of our true Self to form into one harmonious blend of energies.  

 It's hard (in the beginning).  No one said it would be easy!

And it can be pretty damn scary -- at first!   But at the same time ... very exciting!

Embrace ALL That You Are!

For YOU are ALL that there is!

Known as The Empress of the Known & Unknown Universes™ and The Diva of Duct Tape, Julia has made it her personal mission to put Reality back into Spirituality™. Julia sets out to assist people in expanding their conscious awareness through her rather unique and personal take on the human experience.  

In the style of Erma Bombeck, Julia utilizes her own brand of humor and down to earth demeanor to get her messages across in an all so delightful way. 

PLEASE NOTE:  All artwork, unless otherwise specified, are the property of the individual artists themselves. The author of these blogs claims no ownership of the original artwork, but only of the sig tags created using said artwork. Each sig tag shown on these blogs include the appropriate copyright information of the Artists and the unique licensure for use.

Reproduction and copying of said work without proper authority is strictly prohibited

The Sparrow: A lesson In Worthiness

My one burning desire was to do the work Jesus had done while he was here on Earth.   As I close my eyes, I can still hear that tiny sweet voice coming from that little dark curly headed five year  girl I once was.   "I want to be just like Jesus!"   This was the answer I gave to the question, what do you want to be when you grow up?  posed to me by one of my mother's friends.    

Her name was Margie Black (name changed to protect privacy).  She was a very kind, loving woman with bright red hair and sparkling blue eyes.  Margie had a way of bringing Bible stories to life.  She made everything so real and so reachable. So tangible!  When she spoke of Jesus, it was if he were right there in the room with us!  It was that real!

Margie encouraged questions and helped you to think for yourself.  Her favorite saying was ... "A man who doesn't stand for something, will fall for anything!"  And so it was with her teachings.  She would impressed on  me,  that never take any one person's word for anything!  Not her, not anybody!  She would exclaim in her lilting soft voice ...  Research!  Study! Think it through and think it for your Self!  If it holds true for you, then keep it.  But keep in mind two things.  One, what holds true for you, may not always hold true for another.  So learn to see the other person's point of view!  Two, as you grow, you will begin to know more. And this will change some of your truths.    So stay flexible, keep a sharp eye, a keen ear and an open heart throughout all your days!

Sweet, beautiful, bundle of LOVE Margie Black! 

So when I had given my answer to Margie, she didn't let it stop there.  Oh No!  She went on to ask me why.  Why do I want to be just like Jesus?  I told her because he loved people. He wanted to help them and to heal them.   To which Margie would then ask, but don't you love people?  Don't you want to help them out and heal them too?    Of course I do Margie!  That's why I want to be like Jesus when I grow up!  Margie thought for a moment before a broad smile stretched across her face, But don't you already help people?  she asked.   Oh Margie!  I'm only five years old for heaven's sakes!  What can I do to help people?  It was then Margie wrapped her arms around me, hugging me tight and then whispered in my ear, You do what Jesus did when he was only five years old.  She kissed me on the cheek and with a wink said, just be who you are!  

**************

Just be who you are!  That's all that is asked.  Nothing more, nothing less.  This is the legacy not only Margie handed down to me, but one my maternal grandmother passed on as well!

When we fashion ourselves after someone else ... work at being ... just ... like ... them,  we tend to lose our Self in the process.  It is during this experience, we forget our own worth.  

I am not talking about following in someone's footsteps here.  No.  I am speaking in terms of fashioning your very existence after someone to the point that YOU are virtually hidden away ... nearly non-existent!

We give up our self worth so easily and so readily.  Always comparing ourselves to others.  Always wanting, striving, needing,  to be like this one or that one.     Believing and thinking if only I could be more like her ... or him ... or them.  

If only.   Perhaps the most famous (if not infamous) two words in the human language!

*********

In his Sermon on the Mount,  Jesus reiterated our worth.    "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground unperceived by your Father. And even the hairs of your head are all counted. So do not be afraid; you are of more value than many sparrows." ~ Matthew 10:24-39, The Christian Bible.
²⁹

I often wondered why Jesus used the Sparrow to get his point across.      

Sparrows are those little brown birds that seem to be everywhere.    They do not draw attention to themselves. They are not majestic like eagles with their white headed feathers and eight foot wide wing spans. They don't have have long elegant legs like the blue heron or  soar gracefully in the wind like seagulls.   They don't have brightly colored tail feathers that fan out brilliantly as they strut about like the peacock.   No, they are seemingly ever present,  unimpressive, unassuming.

Could it be that Jesus knew that during our own human experiencing, most often than not, we would  go around thinking and/or believing that we too are just as seemingly unimpressive?  Knowing that yes, we are  obviously here,  that we obviously have something to offer,  but why isn't anyone noticing?  And when we feel we are  unnoticed, unappreciated, unheard, we begin to develop a belief that we are just not good enough!  That we must ... we must ... become something other than we are.  

We begin to discount our worth because we are not like all those other types of birds.

Our  tiny feathered wondrous friend the Sparrow  delights in who it is and why it is.   And you know how I know this?  It's beautiful praises of gratitude and worth can be heard through their chirping and singing.  What a joyous sound they make!   As I listen to these little messengers of gratitude, I'm willing to wager that our little friend the Sparrow does not compare itself to the Eagle or to the Peacock.  Or to any of it's feathered kin.  Nor does it have the need or the desire.

Now my Question is ... Why Do You?

About Julia K. Cole

What can you expect from someone who considers Putting Reality Back Into Spirituality a personal calling? Straight forward answers that lead to life-changing experiences on a soul level!

Known as The Empress of the Known & Unknown Universes™ and The Diva of Duct Tape, Julia has made it her personal mission to put Reality back into Spirituality™. Julia sets out to assist people in expanding their conscious awareness through her rather unique and personal take on the human experience. 

In the style of Erma Bombeck, Julia utilizes her own brand of humor and down to earth demeanor to get her messages across in an all so delightful way. 

As a writer, Julia is a virtual powerhouse of creativity.  Among Julia's literary accomplishments is  the  Children of the Luminaries  trilogy;  Book One: The Coming Storm can be purchased by clicking Here.   

Book Two  of the trilogy is due out in the Fall of 2015 and Book Three will be available in 2016.  The long anticipated ZEN of Duct Tape:  An Empress Is Born will be out in 2016.  As well as the Teddy Mitchell Chronicles.

Julia has also contributed to several other publications including Brad Steiger's  Real Zombies, The Living Dead, and Creatures of the Apocalypse  Click HERE for the review; and Marie D. Jones' Destiny vs. Choice  Click HERE    

PLEASE NOTE:  All artwork, unless otherwise specified, are the property of the individual artists themselves. The author of these blogs claims no ownership of the original artwork, but only of the sig tags created using said artwork. Each sig tag shown on these blogs include the appropriate copyright information of the Artists and the unique licensure for use.

Reproduction and copying of said work without proper authority is strictly prohibited


Unless otherwise specified, ALL articles on this Blogger are the property of Julia K. Cole.  The ZEN of Duct Tape™, it's name, teachings, modalities, and all excerpts; the nicknames The Empress of the Known & Unknown Universes™ and The Diva of Duct Tape™,  The Duct Tape Diva™; Putting Reality Back Into Spirituality™, Reality back into Spirituality™ are the property and trade marks of Julia K. Cole and are protected under Copy Right Laws both here in the USA and Around The World.