For most of my adult life I have been a mom. Half of that has been spent being a single mom. But I'm not your typical mother by any means!
Gross understatement if there ever was one, I know!
Truth is -- I am not one of these mothers who is a PTA member or who is the first on the scene with baked goods on hand for her kid's bake sales, I don't do car pools and arts & crafts aren't my thing.
I can't remember the last time I went to the beauty shop to get my nails and hair done. In fact, there are days when my hair hasn't been combed or my teeth been brushed -- which is perhaps the only time everyone leaves me alone! My cuticles are torn and raggedy the majority of the time due to me having to be Josephine the Plumber, Harriet the Handy-woman and Mildred the Maid!
I have all sorts of make up ... but rarely apply it. I've come to enjoy the au naturale look now. And though Estee Lauder "Youth Dew" is my favorite perfume, the only scent I sport these days is Suave™ Deodorant.
My normal daily attire no longer consists of neatly pressed shirts, slacks and/or skirts that were perfectly accessorized with pristine jewelry and scarves and the like. These have been replaced by a pair of over sized sweat pants or pajama bottoms, matching equally over sized shirts, a pair of socks and slippers or flip flops--depending on the weather. The only accessory nowadays is a matching scrunchie to keep me from looking like Medusa's bastard sister!
I am not someone who projects a "perfect" home setting 24/7 -- reason being, I don't give a rat's ass what other people think. Unlike my mother whose focus was always on what the neighbors had on their so called minds.
In truth, you won't find any June Cleavers or Donna Reeds types here. My house isn't filthy, just cluttered. Though I do seem to vaguely remember a time when clutter was not part of my home decor. But that was before I became a mom.
Back when my kids were younger ... my house was filled with the usual assortment of the latest action figures, dolls, stuffed animals and TV cartoon characters, videos and games. Couldn't walk through the house without bumping into, stepping on or sitting down on one or the other.
Nothing like pulling one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles out of your ass before you take your first sip of coffee to get your mornings started! Let me tell ya!
Now that my youngest is a teenager, my house is cluttered with books, dirty dishes, shoes and varied articles of clothing that I am constantly reminding her to pick up, put away and/or wash! oy!
I know there are some moms who keep a clutter free clean home. These are the women who are the Martha Stewart graduates. You know the type. Those women who are immaculate and keep the proverbial home fires burning all the while looking like they just stepped out of the beauty parlor as they tote their kids and their kids' friends everywhere, do all the shopping, cooking, gardening, not miss one PTA meeting or school event, run some auxillary, oversee some bake and/or rummage sale, volunteer and what have you. Yea real Stepford Wives-like.
I have to admit that I sometimes suspect they are all related to that chick on Bewitched!.
Now don't get me wrong! In no way do I envy these women. I just want to know where in the hell do they have the time and energy???!!!!!
Now once upon a time -- B.T.C.C. (before the children came) -- I was a young, beautiful, intelligent and some might even go as far as saying -- sane -- woman.
I am still considered beautiful. And though I am no longer young -- I am young at heart and in mind. I will be turning 50 this year--and my mind still thinks it's 16 yrs old!!! Of course, my body reminds me constantly it isn't. Especially when I am faced with a flight of stairs!
I am still intelligent ...but only when my memory doesn't fail me. I'm pretty sure I had a photogenic memory once. But it appears I forgot to replace the film one too many times over the years.
The good news, I do remember the good times I had over the 20 plus years I have been a mother. And though I don't remember much, if anything, of my life before becoming a mom -- the photographs in my family album tell me I did in fact had one!
Many years ago, when my oldest son was about 11 years old, he, his grandmother and I were flipping through an old family album at his grandmother's house. He spotted a picture of a beautiful young woman with perfectly coiffed hair, dressed in a blue velvet evening gown, wisps of curls brushed across her bare milky white shoulders as she sat upon an oval Queen Ann styled chair, posed in an elegant queenly fashion. My son gasped as he gazed at the picture and exclaimed: "who's the babe?" To which my mother replied with a laugh ... "that babe is your mother!" Naturally my son stared at me and asked ... "What happened to you?"
Smart Ass! Don't know where he gets it!
The photographs aren't the only reminders of a life I had once upon a time.
The worn out sneakers and various tee shirts, jeans and capris that are aligned next to my business suits, party dresses and stiletto heels remind me of the woman I had once been and the woman I am now. The beautiful jewelry and scarves that line the top of my dresser help jog my memory of those days before becoming a mommy.
I seem to recall times when I got excited over the latest fashion. Now my excitement stems from finding the latest new fangled box of detergent on sale or when I find a roll of duct tape in a color I don't yet have. Sad, but true!
There was a time I got all gussied up to attend some fashionable gatherings with adults. Now the only gatherings I attend where there are actual adults are school field trips and the weekly jaunt to the local grocers and malls. Getting gussied up these days means I put on a clean shirt and some pants that aren't sweats or pjs.
With respect to my sanity. Well, that is an issue best left for the courts to decide I suppose. There are days I am certain I am crazier than a horse fly trying to land on a pile of freshly made manure. Times Where clarity, reality and the totally bizarre all seem to be the same exact thing.
Most often than not, I can barely remember what I went in the next room for, better yet where I laid my glasses only to discover that they were still on my face. Caring what others think was never an issue with me, but now ... it's even less of an issue as I can barely remember who any of "those people" are!
According to my children, this makes me crazy. And they should know! After all they know everything!
I don't regret becoming a mother. Even when my kids are all conspiring to either send me to the looney bin or to an early grave (or both!)! Being a mom has been, and continues to be, one of my greatest and most favorite adventures.
If anyone were to ask what the best part of being a mother is ... my reply would be ...
Just as all the women before me, being a mom insures the legacy of lunacy we all call motherhood will continue on for generations to come. And in the end, like all those other mothers of generations past, I will have the last laugh!
Because I know, as they knew, that for all the freeze dried bullshit my kids put me through -- my sons and my daughter will have the task of raising children who were worse than them!
Ain't Motherhood Grand?
