"The act of forgiveness is not the condoning of any action that causes pain, it is the refusal to carry the pain inflicted by that action." ~Grandmother to The Oracle, Children of the Luminaries: Book III~The Day of Reckoning
Long ago, when I had asked about forgiveness, the answer I received was simplistic in nature. Though it is nothing new, the message bears repeating.
When we forgive, we are not condoning the action that caused us pain. On the contrary! When we forgive -- we are in refusing to carry any and all pain inflicted by that action.
A Hard Habit To Break
As human experiencers, we develop a wide variety of habits. No greater habit have any of us than the holding on to pain.
It doesn't matter how long ago it was inflicted, it doesn't matter how far we have come in our conscious awareness ... our habit of holding on to our pain is ever present. It is a habit that we hold near & dear to our collective hearts.
We hold on to our pain as though it were a matter of life or death. Why? While the reasons vary, the root of this issue is fear.
- Fear of not having purpose.
- Fear of facing our true feelings. Fear of taking responsibility.
- Fear of owning up to any mistakes we may have made or imagined we made.
- Fear of being unworthy, of being unloved, unwanted.
Above all these ...
- Fear of our own individual power.
We scare ourselves on a regular basis with stories we have been told and continue to tell ourselves about Our Selves.
We know instinctively we are powerful beings -- but yet we hold on to the pain in lieu of our power. We fear being seen as arrogant if we choose to live in our power.
So we hold on to the pain in order to blend in -- to be just like everybody else! And just like everybody else -- we begin to forget who and what we truly are. And ... Just like everybody else -- we suffer needlessly and unnecessarily.
The pain we hold on to allows us to feel. So we hold on to it--with all our being.
As long as we are feeling pain ... we are feeling something. Right?
The pain allows us to remain in the state of forgetfulness -- all so we don't have to take responsibility for our lives. It's better to let someone else take responsibility for our misery.
After all ... they are the reason we are in so much pain. Right?
We hold on to the pain so we can punish those who caused the suffering.
If we suffer ... then they surely will suffer more by watching us live in so much misery. Right?
We vow to live in our misery as a shining reminder of what a horrible person they are or were. Right?
RIGHT!
Embracing vs. Holding On To
There is a vast difference between embracing and holding on to any and all energies.
When we hold on to something that has caused us pain -- we are forcing ourselves to relive the misery over and over again. We continuously victimize ourselves by holding on to the pain.
Embracing, on the other hand, allows the energies to fuse within our very being, causing them to vibrate at a higher vibration. This in turns, allows us to view the action and/or actions as the observer. Placing the pain in a brighter light where it no longer holds us prisoner. From this stance, we are no longer the victim, but merely the observer of what was and no longer is. It puts control back at our finger tips. By embracing the energies, you have authority to either keep them, blend them and fuse them within your being or give them permission to leave. Freeing yourself from any further victimization.
So the questions I pose to you now are ... If you embrace your pain ... give it permission to go ... what is the worst that could happen? What do you believe would happen if you chose to forgive?
If you choose to hold on to that pain, chose not to forgive -- What benefits will that pain continue to bring you? What have you derived or what will you derive from holding on to past hurts?
As with any habit you have developed -- the habit of living in the state of unforgiveness can be broken.
Whatever the mind can conceive and believe ...
it will most assuredly achieve.
The choice is yours. It has always been yours to make. You need only make it!
Many insist they can't forgive their abusers.
Many believe that in forgiving would give their abusers the freedom to do whatever they want -- whenever they want.
Trust me when I say, irregardless of what you do or don't do, your abuser will continue on with their lives.
Holding on to the pain they inflicted upon you will not stop others from carrying on with their abuse.
By the same token, letting go of the pain will not stop others from choosing to continue on with their deeds either. They will carry on as they always have. But it isn't about them--is it?
So the question remains ... what do you have to lose? In all seriousness ... what do you have to lose by refusing to hold on to all that pain?
By refusing to carry it with you?
Holding on to the pain is truly a hard habit to break! But it is one that can be broken!
Excerpts from The ZEN of Duct Tape: An Empress Is Born!
Known as The Empress of the Known & Unknown Universes™ and The Diva of Duct Tape, Julia has made it her personal mission to put Reality back into Spirituality™. Julia sets out to assist people in expanding their conscious awareness through her rather unique and personal take on the human experience.
In the style of Erma Bombeck, Julia utilizes her own brand of humor and down to earth demeanor to get her messages across in an all so delightful way.
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