Christmas and Winter Tags 2015 Part 2

Here are some Winter and Christmas Tags I made.   Featuring the artwork of Very Many, Soul Designer and Keith Garvey!

I think Santa Claus is a woman....

I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's a she. Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off! 

For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. It's as if they are all frozen in some kind of Ebenezerian Time Warp until 3 p.m. on Dec. 24th, when they - with amazing calm - call other errant men and plan for a last-minute shopping spree. Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves. (You might think this would send them into a fit of panic and guilt, but my husband tells me it's an enormous relief because it lessens the 11th hour decision-making burden.) On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman. Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the bag. 

Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and strapped on to the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen's rack would already be on the way to the taxidermist. Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer, he'd still have transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions. Add to this the fact that there would be unavoidable delays in the chimney, where the Bob Vila-like Santa would stop to inspect and repoint bricks in the flue. He would also need to check for carbon monoxide fumes in every gas fireplace, and get under every Christmas tree that is > crooked to straighten it to a perfectly upright 90-degree angle. 

Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man: 

* Men can't pack a bag. 

* Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet. 

* Men would feel their masculinity is threatened...having to be seen with all those elves. 

* Men don't answer their mail. 

* Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described even in jest as anything remotely resembling a 'bowlful of jelly.' 

* Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them. 

* Having to do the Ho Ho Ho thing would seriously inhibit their ability to pick up women. 

* Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment. 

I can buy the fact that other mythical holiday characters are men......... 

Father Time shows up once a year unshaven and looking ominous. Definite guy. Cupid flies around carrying weapons. Uncle Sam is a politician who likes to point fingers. Any one of these individuals could pass the testosterone screening test. But not St. Nick. Not a chance. 

As long as we have each other, good will, peace on earth, faith and Nat King Cole's version of 'The Christmas Song,' it probably makes little difference what gender Santa is. 

I just wish she'd quit dressing like a guy!!! 

Source:  http://jokeindex.com/

Christmas Smack Down: Tradition vs. Politically Correct vs. People With Brains

The one thing everyone can be sure of this holiday season is the politically correct never stops! It's becoming a literal Smack Down these days.   Sadly, PCers seem to be getting their way.     

Here's the dig, the PCers claim they don’t want to offend anyone who is not Christian.  

Yea, that’s their claims! 

However, I couldn't help but notice (as I always do) that these dweebs are not one bit interested in offending  the rest of us!  Christians and non-Christians alike!  

Below are just a few examples what these vandalizing politically correct ass hats are doing.  I am certain there are more, but you get the gist!  In addition to the examples, and just to keep things real, I have added the People With Brains commentary.   

*~*~*~*~*

Tradition: Santa Claus is a jolly fat elf.

The Politically Correct:  he needs to lose weight because he is a bad example for kids struggling with their self-image.  

People With Brains:  Yea, like those tooth picks, air brush, stick their fingers down their throat after eating a celery stick, who fill the pages of fashion magazines everywhere, are such a good example of what real people look like!

Tradition:  Santa says Ho! Ho! Ho!

The Politically Correct:  Santa must stop saying Ho! Ho! Ho!  Because it’s degrading to women!

People With Brains:  WTF??!  Excuse me!  Santa says Ho! Ho! Ho!  NOT … You’re a Ho!  Clean out your ears assholes!

Tradition:  Silent Night, Holy Night.  Talks about the Virgin mother, her infant who is born to be savior.

The Politically Correct:   No virgin mother, no child, no holy infant, no tender and mild, and definitely no Christ the savior or lord at thy birth

People With Brains:  This song is about the birth of Jesus Christ.  Granted, Jesus was not born on December 25.   However, the person who wrote the song believed it to be a holy and awe inspiring event nonetheless!   It was an incredible event, even if you don’t believe the story!  And the song reflects that. 

Very offensive that someone would take someone else’s work and deface it like that!   

What’s next on your PC agenda?   Paint a mustache on the Mona Lisa? 

Assholes!

Tradition:  A pine tree tree decorated in a wide assorted ornaments and garland is referred to as a Christmas Tree.  Reason being, it is done at Christmas time for Christmas!

The Politically Correct:  Call it a Holiday Tree, because we don't wanna offend anybody.  Better yet.  Take that thing down now!  People who don't celebrate Christmas hate it!  So take it down! 

People With Brains:  It's Christmas!  It's a Tree!  Therefore, it's a CHRISTMAS TREE!  Anyone who is offended need not look at it!  If they don't like it.  TOUGH!  I don't like seeing a lot of shit either!  But I deal with it because it is somebody's tradition and way of life!   I respect that.  And I do not ask...I DEMAND...the same respect shown to ME and MY f'ing traditions!


Tradition:  Say Merry Christmas during Christmas Season (officially begins the day after Thanksgiving)

The Politically Correct:  Saying Merry Christmas is religious persecution!  It offends those not Christian!!!!     Besides, all the other winter holidays are in there too, and they're all pretty much the same.  So just say Happy Holidays, that way you get everybody.  And nobody gets offended or persecuted.

People With Brains:  Christmas, Hannukkah, Kwanzii, The Solstice and Yule are NOT THE SAME THING!  And too, they don't all happen at the same time.  And most importantly, how do you figure saying Merry Christmas is religious persecution?  Are you insane?  Or just that special kind of stupid?  

  

You know, all this freeze dried bullshit started with the politically correct insisting that we say Happy Holidays instead of the traditional Merry Christmas, Happy Christmas, Joy Noel, etc.


You know that right?  

Well come what may,  you can bet your mistletoe I'm ready to RUMBLE!!!!


MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!