Six Things To Practice During 2014: 1 ~ Make Peace With Your Past~

Have you made peace with your past?

Before you answer that, take a moment and ask yourself the following questions:

Do you feel grounded each and every day?  Are you consciously aware of the present?
Are you genuinely at peace here in this moment?  Are you content with your life?  
Are you content with who you are? 

Do you rarely think of the past?   And when you do, can you honestly look back on past events and situations and have a better understanding of what took place and why?  Can you think about people whom you lost, be it through a physical death or them leaving you to be with someone else, and know it wasn't anything you did/didn't say or do/didn't do?   Can you think about these people without getting upset or going into a fit of rage?  Can look at your past and feel nothing but satisfaction and gratitude?

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If you can answer yes to most of the above questions,  you're well on your way to being 100% at peace with your past!  
    
Sadly, many people can't answer yes to even one of those questions.  Not even one!    And reason being is they spend a great deal of their time dwelling on the past.  They linger in all the memories of times gone by.   Reliving the pain and anguish of the hurtful things said and done to them.   Or reliving all the wonderful memories they shared with a loved who passed on.   

Whether or not the memories are painful or pleasant, if you find you are spending more than half your days dwelling in the past, then you are not living fully in the here and now. 

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So why do we dwell on our past so much?  Why do we  go there to linger in all the memories of what was?  

I've come to the conclusion that we go back  rehashing and reliving our past in the hopes that some way, some how, we can change the past, make it better, right the wrongs, soothe the pain and so on.    Maybe.  But the sad truth is so many  people literally live out their lives, living and re-living it all  in the hopes they can somehow change it and make it better.  Or just make it go away entirely.     Which by the way...never happens!

And then there are those who just refuse to even deal with the past on any level.  They just stuff it all  down deep in their gut or way back in the recesses of their minds.  Living out their lives filled with anger and/or perpetual denial.  Explains all the fucked up relationships don't it?

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So I have to ask, when you look back on your life, what events do you recall having a tremendous impact on how your future was shaped?   What people and/or events still give you a negative emotional tug?

Perhaps it's an ex-lover,  unresolved issues with family or you are dealing with some type of regret for past actions. Whatever it is, it's time to get it cleared out and cleaned up! 

Clearing & Cleaning The Path For A Better Now

Clearing out and Cleaning up your past isn’t about forgetting.  It's about healing.  It's about acceptance.   Through accepting the past for what it is, you come into an understanding that what was doesn’t need to be a part of your present.  Or future!   Once this understanding sets in and takes hold, a wondrous healing takes over.  

To reconcile the past  you will be confronting all those areas that you resist the most.  Keeping in mind of course, Resistance is Futile!

 

Facing the past is the key to releasing it. 

Now to clarify things, I will impress upon you to remember that there is a vast difference between facing the past and just talking about the past.

While both exercises involving going back in time.  Facing the past puts you in a position of power as the observer.  Whereas, talking about the past makes you the participant.

Think about that for a few minutes.   Let it sink in.  

If your happiness isn't the reason to let go of your past, think about your family, your spouse, partner, boyfriend, girlfriend, children and friends. How have the events from your past impacted them? How you behave and act is what your kids will grow up emulating. By continuing to hold onto the past, not only are you destroying your own life, you are crushing the lives of all of those around you. If you choose to go down a path that is stuck in how your life used to be, the people around you will go down that path too.

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Here's an exercise to help you zero in on how the past is impacting your life.

• Write down a list of every person you feel you've wronged.

• Write down a list of every person you own an apology to.

• Make a list of everyone you feel has wronged you.

• Write down a list of every person you feel you deserve an apology from.

If you want to be free from you past, let all of the people you named in the above exercise know how you feel. More times than not, you may be surprised that they have no idea what you're talking about. What made an indelible impression on you, turned out to be meaningless or of little concern to that other person. They simply had no clue you've been holding on to all of that negative emotion which ultimately weighed you down with self-created images of something that may or may not have happened.

Think of all the wonderful things you are missing out on this present by exerting all that focus on all the yesterdays.

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As with all addictions, healing your addiction to the past will take time and conscious effort.  


Embrace All that You are!   
For You ARE All  that There Is!


Namaste!

Next Blog:  

What Other People Think About Me Is None Of My Business!


Resources:  

Terry Ferry

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tom-ferry/self-help-are-you-addicte_b_631620.html

Pondering 2013: Part 2

As I sit here writing this, I’m reminded of a scene from What Dreams May Come.   You know the one, where Robin Williams’ character finds his wife who just committed suicide?  

Like that character, I fought my way through "heaven" in order to be with people who made it painfully obvious they wanted nothing to do with me.   Like the wife, they are emotionally damaged, choosing to live their lives as a victim, creating their own special kind of hell in which to dwell.   Then here I come fighting all of heaven to join them.  Yea, imagine that someone would choose hell over heaven just to be with miserable, selfish assholes!   
 

Crazy.  I know!

Hell is a place I no longer wish to be.     So I say a final farewell to all those who rather live in misery and be a victim!  Who would rather wallow in the depths of despair in Hell than enjoy the splendors of Heaven.

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As a side note, I wish to personally address a few members of my birth family. 

You know who you are.  

 

I was under the assumption that you didn’t read my blog.  Assumptions which have proven erroneous.  As most assumptions do.  

But it appears that some have in fact read the words I have expressed herein and made a decision to de-friend me on Face Book.    I hope your pathetic actions bring you some measure of satisfaction and relief.   Knowing how delusional you truly are, I’m sure it did! 

Nonetheless, I do wish to say to you…THANK YOU!  You saved me the time, effort and energy!    

And too, I wish to say THANK YOU for proving me right.  Though I had hoped I was wrong in believing you all were nothing more than a bunch of self absorbed, self serving and self victimizing, clueless ass hats, your very actions have provided all the proof I need to know I wasn’t.  I consider this a victory.  Though bittersweet and sad, it has lifted me up and strengthened my resolve to keep people like yourselves out of life!  But most importantly, it has wiped out any and all remaining doubts I may have had for the decisions made! 

So THANK YOU!  I can now boldly, and with great confidence,  enter 2014 several hundred pounds lighter!

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My decision is now set in the proverbial stone!  

ALL the freeze dried bullshit that happened in 2013 STAYS in 2013!

I begin a new and more improved way of life!  All that will remain of 2013 and all years prior,  will be this blog.  And it remains only to serve as a healthy reminder of where I came from and how far I have traveled.  And too, and perhaps most importantly, as a reminder of what was and is no more!