My Gratitudes: Monday, August 3, 2020

I noticed something happening to me as I started my daily practice of gratitude.  All this anger started showing up.  Yea, you read that right!  Anger.  I started getting pissed off for no apparent reason.  Why?  Well, according to one of my teachers, Jeffrey Allen, this is what is known as a growth spurt.  😁  All those things we have kept shoved down, ignored and left unattended are now showing up to be acknowledged, addressed and released.   Makes sense.

So the questions remain ... what am I so angry about?  Why did I feel the need to suppress them?  Ignore them?  

The first thing that comes to mind is how I didn't grieve for friends and family that made their transition.  As I wrote that sentence I could actually feel the resentment swelling up.  I take responsibility as to why I didn't take time to grieve.  I was so busy holding everybody else up. (I chose that) I had to stand strong for everybody else.  (I chose that) At the end of the day, I was alone. There was no one there to comfort me.  And when I say no one I am talking about other humans.  Sure I had spirits around comforting me, lending me assistance and pouring out love.  And while I appreciate that more than words can express, I yearned to be comforted by others here in the physical.  Our earthly bodies were designed to be nurtured by other humans.  We long for that human touch.  It's how we were made.  I am no different.  What would it have hurt for someone to put their arms around me and tell me it was all going to be okay?  Again, I can't blame them for their lack of sympathy and empathy.  I was standing strong.  So why in the hell would I need comforting!

Even so, I resent every last one of them for not seeing I was in pain.  I resent them for being so damn selfish, so self-absorbed, and self-centered that they couldn't see that I was falling apart.  So I shoved it all down.  Because that part of me that cares didn't want them to feel bad.  I needed them to know that it was all going to be okay.  Even though I didn't believe it myself.  

Anger at not standing up to the bullies in my life.  The tragic assholes who were always telling me to shut up or saying -- oh you shouldn't be saying that, etc., etc. Angry with myself for not telling them all how I really felt.  Sure I would say something, but not enough to make them leave me alone.  Not enough to make them go away never to return.  And certainly not enough to make the pain stop.  

Anger for not standing strong when I could have.  Anger for not walking away when I damn well should have.  Anger for not being better -- not being enough!

All this came up during my gratitude practice.  Why?  Because I didn't feel grateful for these experiences.  Do I now?  I'll get back to you on that!

******

Okay, I'm ready!   Yea, I'm just damned pissed.  I Acknowledged my pissosity!  I accept it as the growth spurt it truly is!  And yes!  I AM Grateful!!!!

Today ...

I Am Grateful for my pissosity showing up.  I am Grateful for this state of being pissed  is showing me that I have yet to heal.  Healing is such a great process!  And I am grateful that I have this awareness, this opportunity to truly heal from these things.

I Am Grateful for my anger.  It is showing me that it's okay to be ME!  My anger is letting me know I AM Good Enough!  Always have been!   My anger is letting me know that it is perfectly okay if others don't accept me as is!  It really is!  Thank you anger!  You're damn awesome! I Am so grateful you resurfaced!  

I Am Grateful for my resentment.  Like it's brothers and sisters pissosity and anger, it is showing me it is safe to let it all go.  It has shown me that I survived the rough spots.  It has reminded me to give myself permission to let it all go.  And I do!  And I am!

I Am Grateful for all my spirit helpers, friends, and family; for All the Angels who have stood by me.  I Am so very thankful for their continuous love, compassion, and understanding.  

I Am Grateful for my ability to acknowledge, accept and release all my anger, pissosity and resentments.  In acknowledging, accepting and releasing I am in a position to grow, expand and strengthen my Self.  Expand my awareness; expand my natural state of love, my natural state of Being.  For all of this, and so much more, I AM Grateful!

I Am Grateful for all the bullies that showed up in my life's journey.  They have taught me the importance of standing up for myself.  The importance of standing my ground and not giving up. 

I Am Grateful for all my earth teachers have shown up at the exact right time in my life.  Their experiences, their wisdom, their willingness to share and be vulnerable has shown me what true strength is.   I appreciate their courage.  It has reignited my own courage.  And I am truly thankful for these fellow earth travellers.  I would be so lost without them!  

I Am Grateful for my ability to be open to learning and relearning.  This has been a great reminder that while I may know EVERYTHING -- I still don't remember/recall 99.9% of it!  Real Talk!  I love knowing that I still can (and do) learn each and every day!  What a wonderful adventure that is!  Brings me so much joy!

I Am Grateful for my ability to let it all go whenever I damn well choose! I enjoy the freedom of letting it all go.  I enjoy the smile it puts on my face  I thoroughly enjoy the feeling it gives.

I Am Especially Grateful for being able to Forgive.  Forgiveness of my Self in particular.  Looking back, I did the best I could at that given time.  Forgiveness of my Self for not knowing better allows me to do better....be better in this here and now!  And for that I am truly thankful!

Embrace ALL that you Are!

For YOU ... Are ALL that there Is!

Known as The Empress of the Known & Unknown Universes™ and The Diva of Duct Tape, Julia has made it her personal mission to put Reality back into Spirituality™. Julia sets out to assist people in expanding their conscious awareness through her rather unique and personal take on the human experience. 

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Giving Thanks~It's Not Just For Turkeys! "OR" I'm Thankful To Be ME and Not Somebody Else cause then I wouldn't be ME and THAT would REALLY SUCK!!!!

Today, I will share with you a few of the things I am thankful for.  These things come from my Things I am Thankful For list.  Which I do daily.   Why?  Because every day is a day of giving thanks.  Yea, laugh and mock if you will. I know how corny it sounds.  But it's my personal belief, my way of life and how I roll.   That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

So why make a list?   Helps me from leaving anything out for starters.  More importantly, it puts things in perspective.   Having a literal list allows me to actually see how much there is to be thankful for.    Speaking of which, there is so much we all take for granted.  So much we don't even think about because we're so use to having it around.  You know like running water, indoor plumbing, electricity; having a stove and refrigerator, microwave, coffee maker.  A bed, a pillow, sheets and blankets.  To name a few.      And yes!  These are on my ever growing list.

Being thankful for these very things brings you into a state of knowing.  It generates  this really fabulously wonderful feeling that can only be described as blissful.   According to EFT Master and Teacher Carol Look, genuine thankfulness can change lives!  And it increases our ability to manifest what we want.  Which isn't really the point, but it is a pretty phenomenal perk!   

This feeling of gratitude is something you just have to experience for yourself in order to truly understand.    Try it! And who knows?  You might actually enjoy it! And get in the habit of doing the daily thankful list too!

Be sure to Click HERE to Check out Carol's newsletters on Giving Thanks and other great subjects!  And for some really fantastic EFT scripts! 


Here are three of things off my list of  Things I am Thankful For.

I am Thankful for the Internet.  Without it I would not have met some incredibly special people.  I wouldn't have been able to make friends with people on the other-side of the world.   Thank you Internet!  Thank you to all those who make the Internet a reality! You know who you are!

I am Thankful I have been able to use my anger to better a situation that I believe and know to be unjust; I am So Very Thankful that I have learned to use that anger to create more uplifting, powerful and long lasting solutions.

I am Thankful for all the truly stupid and ignorant people of the world. You show me where I need to improve myself.  But most importantly Without you I wouldn't be aware of how truly fortunate I am that I'm Not YOU!  So thank you! 

So what are YOU Thankful for?