Showing posts with label release. Show all posts
Showing posts with label release. Show all posts

Thursday, June 16, 2011

How Many Times? Seventy Times Seven!

I’m on week three of doing the 70x7 exercise -- and MAN!  Does my hand hurt! 

For those unfamiliar with this little process -- it is taken from the Christian Bible.

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”  Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”  ~Matthew 18:21-22  (NIV)

I never gave this passage  much thought until I was doing research.   My search lead me to Cat Saunders’ blog page “Four Principles of Effective Apology” -- where I found her article entitled “My Favorite Forgiveness Process.”

In her article, Cat  describes how she combined ideas from two of  her mentors in regard to forgiveness, Sondra  Ray and Morrnah Simeona.

One is the Ho’Oponopono phrases:  I’m Sorry, Please Forgive me, I love you and I thank you.

The other is literally writing out 70 times each day for 7 days the following:

I forgive ________ and ________ forgives me.  (you fill in the blanks)

In order to get the full effect -- it’s advised you do both  Ho’Oponopono (speaking the Ho’Oponopono phrases)  and the writing out of the above line 70x7. 

And by the way -- for those who have challenges with their hands (carpal tunnel; arthrities, etc.),    I have discovered through experimentation, that you can say this line 70 times each day and have the same affect.   As with writing out the lines I forgive ________ and ________ forgives me.  (you fill in the blanks), you cannot skip a day.  If you’re saying it -- you have to say it each and every day for Seven (7) days straight.  If you forget -- you have to start over -- from the beginning! 

No recording it and listening to it -- you must SAY IT!

Yea!  It’s a pain in the ass!  But that’s what you get for holding to all your bullshit!

Lesson Learned:  Holding on to shit -- makes for hard work!

Before I started the 70x7 process -- I compiled a list of all the people (and some situations and events) that I knew needed releasing.   It’s a long list -- and growing I might add!  I then looked the list over and chose which ones really jumped out at me and began my journey into the 70x7 process.

Cat urges the reader that while doing the 70 x 7 sentences, pay special  attention to the rest of your life as the week progresses.  During the seven days, notice how the process actually stimulates all your stuff to rise to the surface, like scum on a pond. Whatever stands in the way of forgiveness makes itself painfully apparent. [amended]  (excerpt from Helping Handbook by Dr. Cat Saunders, Source:  http://www.drcat.org/dchh/html/forgiveness.htm )

Well, I took Cat’s advice and all I can say is … it’s a damn good thing those I’ve been releasing should be thanking the deity of their choice they weren’t anywhere near me during this ritual!

Can we say outrage -- enraged -- and flat out pissed off? I’ve lost count over the last three weeks how much I just wanted to stomp the crap out of those people.  Two to three times during the course of each  week I’d wake up in the middle of the night so angry -- I punched the stuffing out of my pillow.   I also noted how many times I would break down and start crying. 

But I kept writing.  Even as the memories of the pain and humiliation each of those people had inflicted on me rose to the surface -- trying with all their might to stop me from continuing -- I kept writing.  I was so pissed off at one point -- I actually broke the pencil!  But I grabbed another and kept on writing until I reached my 70 times for that day.

By day 4, I was a bit more centered and calm.   By day 6 -- I noticed that I actually enjoyed doing it.   And by the seventh day -- I was relieved and felt so much lighter!

I’ve also noticed that I have become much calmer, more centered and grounded.   I also feel really good about myself too!

 The beauty of reciting Ho’Oponopono so many times per day  is … you begin to do it automatically -- without even thinking about it!!!     Everywhere I go, I catch myself saying Ho’Oponopono.   And I have seen some rather startling changes all over the place too!

Now here's something I didn't count on.  The neighborhood I live in has become quieter and more calm.  I get on a bus and if there is someone arguing or being loud -- no sooner do I get the word Ho’Oponopono out of my mouth, everyone becomes  settled down.  People are nicer and friendlier now.  Everywhere I go!

The inner joy that I’ve reconnected to has become a bit of an addiction for me now.  And I LIKE IT!   Yea, I still get pissed off -- but now getting back in my center is much quicker and easier these days.  Wow!  And only after a few weeks too!  Just imagine what the next three weeks will bring! 

Namaste!
























About Julia K. Cole

Julia K. Cole is a psychic medium, internet radio show host,  Certified Spiritual Consultant,  Empowerment Coach and upcoming author. 

Known as The Empress of the Known & Unknown Universes™ and The Duct Tape Diva,  Julia has made it her personal mission to put Reality back into Spirituality.   Julia sets out to assist people in expanding their conscious awareness through her rather unique and personal take on the human experience.  In the style  of Erma Bombeck, Julia utilizes her own brand of humor and down to earth demeanor to get her messages across in an all so delightful way.



Sources:

http://www.drcat.org/dchh/html/forgiveness.htm

How to Practice Ho’Oponopono
http://www.ehow.com/how_4908232_practice-hooponopono-four-simple-steps.html

How Many Times ~ White Heart
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUZ4sPXoZCM

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Consider This . . .

The person who hurt you either 
  • Isn’t aware they have hurt you;
  • Doesn’t care they hurt you;
  • Has forgotten about the incident and moved on;
  • Sleeps very well at night
  • Has no issues with indigestion, headaches, back pain or any other kind of pain
  • Is convinced you are in desperate need of getting a life,  getting laid or both
  • Has steady relationships and a job
  • Has no addictions or disorders
  • Can hold a steady personal relationship/keep a job

You on the other hand …
  • Can remember every detail of the incident and every syllable uttered;
  • Have developed various types of ailments, joint pains, suffer from headaches, backaches,  a wide variety of  physical, mental and/or emotional health issues;
  • Are angry, resentful and mistrustful;
  • Either can’t sleep or sleeps way too much
  • Now has an eating disorder
  • Suffering from memory loss --huge chunks of your life is missing
  • Has some sort of addiction (alcohol, drugs, sex, spending, gambling, food)
  • Can’t hold down a job/Can’t keep a steady personal relationship
  • Difficulty in focusing on anything outside the pain and suffering
  • Suffers from Low self-esteem and self-worth

While these may not apply to every individual reading this -- I am willing to wager most of it does ring some bells!

So considering all the above -- seeing it in black and white -- do you still believe you are really making “they” -- “them” -- “that person” suffer by holding on to your pain?  You think/believe that you are exacting revenge by living your life in misery?

They -- who/whom ever “they” are -- are not suffering from what happened.  They’re free!  You on the other hand--  are in a prison of your own making! YOU are the one suffering -- not them!   You are the one punishing you!


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  • Forgiveness is not the condoning of the actions that initiated the pain and suffering you experienced. 
  • Forgiveness is not forgetting anything that transpired -- but reaching a state of mind where you can see those actions from an objective view point without any adverse reactions.

  • Forgiveness is the refusal to carry the pain and suffering those actions initiated. 
  • Forgiveness is the release of the pain and suffering you have carried throughout your human experience.

It is painfully obvious that the majority of people do not know the difference between forgetting and releasing.    No doubt this is perhaps one of the main reasons people are so skittish when it comes to forgiving.

Forgive and Forget?

Many have been taught that in order to reach a true state of forgiveness -- one must totally forget everything that happened to them.  This is a gross misconception that has been passed down by those who didn’t know any better.

To  “forgive and forget” means  to -- release that pain from your being!  Release yourself and be free!  Forget all about holding on to all that suffering -- holding all that pain!   

It does NOT mean forget the incident  itself!  Again, the forgetting portion of "Forgive & Forget is  --  forget all that clinging -- forget all that grasping -- forget  all that holding on -- to that which no longer serves you!   Forget that which no longer serves you and remember only what you have learned from the event(s).  Release the pain and be Free!

This is the true meaning behind the phrase “forgive and forget.”

*~*~*~*~*~*

Interesting thing about human experiencers -- they hold on to their pain and suffering as though it were a matter of life and death.  They justify clinging to their pain and suffering by relieving the incidents that transpired.  Caught up in their fears -- they can’t see what they have learned from any of the situations.    They can’t see past those incidents.  They refuse to let them go for whatever reason.  During the course of their human journey, they will go as far as reinventing the situation over and over again in their day to day life.

So and so did this or that-- said this or that.  They hurt me.  They should be made to pay for this, that or the other thing.   I’m a victim!  I’m in pain!  I can’t let go because they hurt me!

I can’t let go because they hurt me! 

I have to remember what they did so they will pay for it!  So they will see my suffering and they will be sorry!  

I’m sick!  I have this or that pain!  I have this or that disease.  All  because because they hurt me!  I’m making them pay with my physical, emotional and mental pain!  I can’t let go yet -- it doesn’t matter if I can’t sleep or sleep too much.  It doesn’t matter if I eat too much or can’t eat or keep anything down!  I have to do this because they hurt me!

They are going to pay for my suffering!  I won’t let it go until they pay for hurting me!  Even if it cost me my happiness -- and my life-- they are going to pay -- because they hurt me!

While a bit dramatic -- the above statements are more true than many of you reading this realize or even admit.

“I can’t! (or “I won’t)  Because they hurt me!”   Each and every time I bring up forgiveness -- 9 times out of 10 -- I will get this particular reply.  Sadly, I hear it a lot!    Sadder still -- each of these people who refuse to forgive suffer from a number of physical, emotional and mental maladies.   To add insult to injury -- the majority of them can’t keep a steady personal relationship.   And while many of them will admit they are holding grudges (i.e. their pain and suffering) -- they refuse to forgive!

For those of you who can’t and/or won’t forgive -- because “they” hurt you  … I urge you once again to Consider This ...

The person who hurt you either 
  • Isn’t aware they have hurt you;
  • Doesn’t care they hurt you;
  • Has forgotten about the incident and moved on;
  • Sleeps very well at night
  • Has no issues with indigestion, headaches, back pain or any other kind of pain
  • Is convinced you are in desperate need of getting a life or getting laid or both
  • Has steady relationships and a job
  • Has no addictions or disorders
  • Can hold a steady personal relationship/keep a job

You on the other hand …
  • Can remember every detail of the incident and every syllable uttered;
  • Have developed various types of ailments, joint pains, suffer from headaches, backaches,  a wide variety of  physical, mental and/or emotional health issues;
  • Are angry, resentful and mistrustful;
  • Either can’t sleep or sleeps way too much
  • Now has an eating disorder
  • Suffering from memory loss --huge chunks of your life is missing
  • Has some sort of addiction (alcohol, drugs, sex, spending, gambling, food)
  • Can’t hold down a job/Can’t keep a steady personal relationship
  • Difficulty in focusing on anything outside the pain and suffering
  • Suffers from Low self-esteem and self-worth
Aren’t you tired?  Don’t you think it’s time you paroled yourself from this living hell?

*~*~*~*~*

Release yourself.  Not by forgetting what happened to you -- but  by refusing to carry that pain and suffering inflicted on you.  Release yourself by remembering the lessons these incidents brought to you.  Take that and start living your life in freedom!

It is said … the best revenge is Living Well!     Nothing pisses that "other person" off more -- than seeing you living happy and well!  And seeing how most of us are attempting to make that "other person" pay for the pain and suffering they inflicted -- well why not try something different?  Why not try living well -- and stop living in Hell!?

As long as you insist on the “I can’t let go because they hurt me!” mindset -- you will never be free!  You will continue to be their victim -- their slave-- their prisoner!

Your choice!  After all -- it is your life … or is it? 

I will leave you with the question posed to me by my spirit companion Antari …

“What is more important to you?  Your pain and suffering or your peace and joy?”

Namaste!






About Julia K. Cole

Known as The Empress of the Known & Unknown Universes™ and The Duct Tape Diva,  Julia has made it her personal mission to put Reality back into Spirituality.   Julia sets out to assist people in expanding their conscious awareness through her rather unique and personal take on the human experience.  In the style  of Erma Bombeck, Julia utilizes her own brand of humor and down to earth demeanor to get her messages across in an all so delightful way.


 
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