To Stress or Not to Stress...

For the past few days I have been grappling with stress.  Mostly work related.  What I have noticed about stress is (1) it really locks up your body and makes it hurt; and (2) it's stressful!  *big smile*


To stress my point on stress and stress release (pun intended) I share with you the following story:

 A young lady confidently walked around the room while leading and explaining stress management to an audience with a raised glass of water.   

Everyone knew she was going to ask the ultimate question, 'half empty or half  full?'... She fooled them all .... "How heavy is this glass of water?" she inquired with a smile.

Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. To 20 oz.

She replied , "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I hold it.  If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.   If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an Ambulance. In each case it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes." She continued, "and that's the way it is with stress. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we
won't be able to carry on."

"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden - holding stress longer and better each time practiced.

So, as early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don't carry them through the evening and into the night... Pick them up tomorrow.

1 * Accept the fact that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue!

2 * Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

3 * Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

4 * Drive carefully... It's not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker.

5 * If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

6 * If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

7 * It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

8 * Never buy a car you can't push.

9 * Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.

10 * Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

11 * Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

12 * The 2nd mouse gets the cheese.

13 * When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

14 * Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

15 * Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.

16 * We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.

17 * A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

18 * Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today.

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY

19 *Save the earth..... It's the only planet with chocolate!* 

I THINK !!!!
 

 There is one more I would like to add to the list...SMILE! 

Not only does it relieve stress but it makes people wonder what you're up to!  *LOLOL*

About Julia K. Cole

What can you expect from someone who considers Putting Reality Back Into Spirituality a personal calling? Straight forward answers that lead to life-changing experiences on a soul level!

Known as The Empress of the Known & Unknown Universes™ and The Diva of Duct Tape, Julia has made it her personal mission to put Reality back into Spirituality™. Julia sets out to assist people in expanding their conscious awareness through her rather unique and personal take on the human experience. 

In the style of Erma Bombeck, Julia utilizes her own brand of humor and down to earth demeanor to get her messages across in an all so delightful way. 

As a writer, Julia is a virtual powerhouse of creativity.  Among Julia's literary accomplishments is  the  Children of the Luminaries  trilogy;  Book One: The Coming Storm can be purchased by clicking Here.   

Book Two  of the trilogy is due out in the Fall of 2015 and Book Three will be available in 2016.  The long anticipated ZEN of Duct Tape:  An Empress Is Born will be out in 2016.  As well as The Teddy Mitchell Chronicles.

Julia has also contributed to several other publications including Brad Steiger's  Real Zombies, The Living Dead, and Creatures of the Apocalypse  and Marie D. Jones' Destiny vs. Choice 


PLEASE NOTE:  All artwork, unless otherwise specified, are the property of the individual artists themselves. The author of these blogs claims no ownership of the original artwork, but only of the sig tags created using said artwork. Each sig tag shown on these blogs include the appropriate copyright information of the Artists and the unique licensure for use.

Reproduction and copying of said work without proper authority is strictly prohibited Unless otherwise specified, ALL articles on this Blogger are the property of Julia K. Cole.  The ZEN of Duct Tape™, it's name, teachings, modalities, and all excerpts; the nicknames The Empress of the Known & Unknown Universes™ and The Diva of Duct Tape™,  The Duct Tape Diva™; Putting Reality Back Into Spirituality™, Reality back into Spirituality™ are the property and trade marks of Julia K. Cole and are protected under Copy Right Laws both here in the USA and Around The World. 

 

 

Gather Yourselves Together!

Gather yourselves together.   Your tribes, your families, your friends and those of like mind. 

Gather yourselves together and be as one.  Stop struggling to reach the masses.  Step back and embrace those you are already reaching and those you've already reached. 

Do not concern yourselves with those that have not been touched by your light.  Do not chase after those that do not appreciate what you are offering.    

If it is meant to be, those that have not already found you, will most certainly find you.  

Stop believing in the adage "the squeaky wheel always gets the oil."     The oil is used to silence the squeak, but is not always taken seriously.  And the results seldom yield lasting results.

Many of you  have now discovered,  it is the quiet and unassuming, the softest of voices,  that brings about the long lasting results.  

As you were living as the squeaky wheel,  you slowly became more like the  barking dog that never bites.  And as you have discovered, you were, for the most part, ignored.  

Yes, it is true some barking dogs and squeaky wheels make their mark. But like your 4th of July sparklers they fizzle out quickly.   And very much like those silvery sparklers they are remembered.  But only a distant memory are they.   For these,  their messages are blended in, and most often than not, fade away until the next one is lit.  The masses move on for something else.   Always moving on to something else brighter and louder and fanciful.  Leaving you behind, alone, lost and confused as to what happened.  Your messages got shuffled and lost, muted and muffled.  And sadly, forgotten.

For some barking dogs and squeaky wheels, they do eventually learn to utilize the quiet and unassuming ways to further their cause.  And now, they are working to further their cause by gathering themselves together, uniting their tribes and setting things straight in a more unassuming quiet manner.  

I implore each of you...Do not keep your focus on reaching the masses.  It is not the number of people that creates the greatest strength, but the strength of the few that develops and perpetuates a stronger bond.  It is not the voice that speaks the loudest that gets the message across and leaves the soul at peace, bringing about lasting impressions.  On the contrary, it is the softest of speech that calms the soul and impacts the hardest,  the softest voice that touches both the heart and soul.   The unassuming and more gentle that leaves the longest of impressions.

Loud voices distort and get jumbled making it difficult to hear and understand the message.  In turn creating mass confusion and befuddlement.    Yet sadly,  many believe if they speak louder, push harder, do more, brow beat and become a nuisance, their message will be heard and accepted. 

Take note of your political and religious leaders in particular.  Their original design was to lead and to serve through compassion and empathy.    Now, through their collective mind set of the squeaky wheel and barking dogs, their messages have become distorted, twisted, adulterated in the worst ways imaginable.      They have lost their way and have succumbed to their greed.  They have fallen prey to their own barks and squeaks!

But I say to you,  Do not fear  the bullying tactics of the barking dogs. Do not allow your ears to become closed off from the squeaks of those who speak the loudest!  For they are diversions.  Distractions away from your quiet and unassuming purposes.

It is with love that I remind each of you that You had a hand in creating this...all of this.
 And you continue creating with each thought.  This is nothing new.  You've heard these messages over and over and over to infinity.  You have heard the messages...but have you truly been listening to them?  

For whatever purposes you had in this creation of distractions, it is part of you!  It is a part of your tribes.  

For whatever purposes you had in the beginning, you are now seeing and feeling there is no longer a need or a want for such distractions.   And it is this part of your awakening that has called me to forth to assist you in re-igniting your sparks. 

Each tribe contributes to the betterment of this realm.  How is your tribe contributing?  Is it focusing only on the problems?  Then in this moment make a decision to Stop wasting your time with what they are and are not doing.  You see an issue that requires resolving, then stop focusing on the problem and set your mind to the resolving of any and all issues.  

Bring your respective tribes together, bring all in an energy of calm controlled emotional empowerment.  Speak softly.  Carrying yourselves with the confidence in the knowing that you are not a human having  a spiritual experience, but a spirit having a human experience!

"Something to Add To Your New Year" A Gift From Bob Proctor

I’m so happy and grateful now that … each day is filled with inspiration, joy and new opportunities. I’ve met and exceeded my 2014 goals with calmness, purpose and commitment.

Be sure to visit the Proctor and Gallagher Institute at www.proctorgallagherinstitute.com

Time Of Your Life

Do you reflect upon the years gone by
as you prepare for yet one more,
with promises and resolutions
that you have made before?

Do memories of people and places
once as sharp as any knife
now blend in bits and pieces
in a kaleidoscope of life?

Do you squander precious minutes
seeking reasons why you’re here, 
contemplating your life’s purpose
year after passing year?

Persuade yourself to understand,
it matters not the reason.
Your purpose is to seize the life
in every passing season!

Learn to see things differently.
Let your thoughts and actions change.
Allow your views of past and present
to slowly rearrange.

Let your spirit start anew;
become focused and aware
of the moments and the blessings
that surround you everywhere!

Do not permit past memories:
the where…the who…the how
to become more important
than the ones you’re making now.

Live life in person;
inhabit every day.
You may not like where you are now,
but you’re there anyway!

A lifetime is a puzzle,
every failure, each success
adds another jagged piece
to fit together with the rest.

To finish the picture
and view the masterpiece whole,
fill the time of your life
with your heart and your soul.

Acquaint yourself with your feelings
and heighten your senses.
Experience living.
Put down your defenses.

You don’t have to know why
you are you, and I’m me.
Believe it is what it is
and it’s how it should be.

You did not choose your date of birth,
nor do you know your last,
so live this gift that is your present,
before it becomes your past.

Linda Ellis, copyright 2011

Linda Ellis is a speaker, author and poet. Please be sure to visit Linda at www.lindaellis.net 

Be Thankful, Be In Gratitude and Just Be!

When it comes to being thankful and being in gratitude, I learned a few things over the years.  And the one thing that really comes to mind is how judgement of anyone is so damn destructive.   And how it only serves to not only perpetuate the current problem, but creates even more problems in  it's wake.  

While we each can justify why we judge someone (and ourselves), situations and events,  the fact of the matter is,  judgment takes away so much from us.  Both as individuals and as a whole.  

Judgment  robs us of precious energies that we don't always notice.  Until it's too late.

Judgment distracts us from the lesson(s) that are being presented to us at that given time.  Which in turn, forces us to repeat those same lessons over and over until we do finally get it!  

 *~*~*~*

For the last couple of months I've literally drained myself of energy all over judging one person in particular.  Judging this person (though well justified)  hasn't resolved anything.      And true to it's nature, my judgments have only serve to keep the issues going strong.  And too, creating  more along the way.

Though  I have had my say and made my stand, the judgment still looms over our heads.   It's a heavy dense energy that presses against and down on my body.  So much so that I finally said,  TIME TO GO HOSS!   The decision to let it all go and walk away from this judgment has come.  Because quite frankly, I'm extremely exhausted by it all!

Granted, I will ever invite this person back into my life, for doing so would only lead to more unnecessary bullshit.  And I for one have no desire to repeat the lessons this person brings!  Nor do I desire to feel weighed down by the burdens of constant judgments.  So with that said, I now forgive and close that chapter once and for all.  Giving thanks that I have enough sense to do this for my Self!

There's a lot more to be said, but I've decided that that too must be let go.  

This person knows who they are.  And too, they know what they've done and continue to do.  

My passing judgment on them doesn't stop them from being what they chose to be in this moment.  Nor does it change what they choose to do to others.  Perhaps one day in the not too distance future,  my forgiveness of them and expressing heartfelt thanks for all that I've learned from them will be the very thing that makes the want to change.  

One can only hope!

*~*~*~*

And just as a quick reminder...

Forgiveness is not the condoning of any acts that bring harm.  It is the refusal to allow to be weighed down by those harmful actions.  It is refusing to be made prisoner of whatever judgments arises from those harmful actions.  

Forgiveness is not about inviting that person that chooses to do harm back into your life.   It's about accepting whatever lessons they brought, using those lessons for your own personal growth.  It's all about  Relinquishing ownership of judgment of that person and allowing them to be who they choose to be.  Somewhere else!  Preferably far, far, FAR away!

Forgiveness is about saying good-bye, I wish you well, I wish you all the best,  to those who refuse to change.

Forgiveness is about remembering all that was taught, without being caught up in the dense energies of judgment.

*~*~*~*

Being genuinely thankful and bringing yourself into the Attitude of Gratitude keeps you where YOU are suppose to be!  Full of energy, vitality and joy!  It's not about them!  It never truly was!  And that my dearies is a powerful lesson greatly earned and learned!

I will end this blog with The Serenity Prayer...

*~*~*~*

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
forever in the next.

Amen.

*~*~*~*

Namaste Beloveds!

Where Does Fear Come

This article,  originally entitled Tree of Love, was  written and posted by me on January 2, 2010 on my Say No To Fear blog.    I thought I would repost it here on my main blog under the more appropriate title, Where Does Fear Come From?

It's quite lengthy.  But I hope you take the time to read it carefully and thoroughly.  If you have any questions and/or comments, please do not hesitate to leave them here.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

The following is a message I received during one of my daily meditations.   It is in answer to one of the questions I posed ... where does fear come from?

As a psychic medium, I am accustomed  to being visited by spirits of all walks of life--past, present, and yes, future.  I am always pleasantly surprised when I am visited by the spirits of people I've only heard about.   Like the numerous others who have visited me over the years, I only knew of him.  I never really bothered to read up on him or learn of his work in any manner.  In fact,  I had first heard of him in 2006 when I first met Vaishali.

In human life, he had been an 18th Century Swedish Scientist, Philosopher and Spiritual Explorer, who at the age of 56,  had a spiritual awakening and wrote numerous books on his theological views and related topics.  His name of course is Emanuel Swedenborg.

I had felt his presence in times past, usually when I was talking with Vaishali, but never really paid that much attention.  In truth, I ignored him.  I wasn't ready to hear anything he had to say, so I just chose to pretend I couldn't see or hear him.

The week before I was presented the answer to my question,  I felt Emanuel's energies filter through my room.  I could tell from the way these energies were intensifying, I would not be in any position to  ignore him as I had in times past.   Any well seasoned medium will tell you, whenever a spirit insist on being acknowledged they have something extremely important to convey.  And seeing I needed clarity  I thought what the hell ... I'll give it a go!


So I asked him ... Where does fear come from?


He explained to me in detail that everything comes from one energy ... an energy we human experiencers call Love.  "In our true forms," he told me,  "we have another name for it,  but it doesn't translate over into human language, so while we are in physical form the word Love is used in it's place."  The actual word for this energy is so complex that he had to write it out for me.  Upon seeing it in writing I came  to understand why we use that four letter word.  Trust me when I say, it's a humdinger!

Emanuel explained that Love is the only energy capable of creating in such massive proportions.  He pointed out how this energy expresses itself in infinite ways.  I found this utterly ridiculous ... at first.   So to prove his point,  Emanuel showed me a tree that seem to go on forever.     He pointed at the base of the tree which was incredible!  It was bigger than a city.  Literally! 


He told me ... "this tree you see here represents Love."    He further went on to say:   "Each of the  branches you see on this tree contributes to the splendid collaboration of what you  see.  Without the branches, the tree would not  be complete. "

"Keep in mind that each branch is an expression of the tree, but not the tree itself.   All the branches make up the wondrous creation you see here.  Note that even the branches have smaller extensions of itself.  See how each stretch out and express upon itself.  Beautiful is it not?  As you can see, all aspects of the tree work in harmony to provide comfort and beauty to all those who come in contact with it.  As it is with the tree, so it is with you."

"Like this tree, you too have infinite expressions.  Your base ... your trunk if you will ... is always Love.    There is no separation from this.  If that were true, then you would have no branches.  Whatever it is you are expressing, be it anger, hatred, jealously or any type of fear, you are coming from that one particular aspect of the one energy ... Love.  Love, is the energy of creation, there is no separation ... only expression."

How can this be?

"Love expresses itself in this vast manner for the soul to experience the variations of Creator energy.  It is why you took on physical form, it is why you chose the challenges you have in this life and all the others before this.  Without physical experience of those expressions, you would not come into full understanding of what Love is.  What it truly is."

So when I am experiencing fear, I am sitting on one particular branch to see what it's like?

"Yes! Yes!  That is precisely what you are doing!"

Emanuel  pointed to the lower branches that were close to the base of the tree.  "These branches represent the many aspects of fear.   See how each twig has sprouted from these branches?  These are the representation of each fear you experience.  Note how each twig slightly differs."

So when we climb up, we get a clearer view of what is transpiring?

"Absolutely! And let us not forget our roots!  The roots expand out and connect to all the other trees creating a unique and beauteous connection.  It is a connection that reaches out to all creation.  This connection creates a network."

What effects one effects all.

"Precisely!"

Looking up I couldn't see the top, but I began to be filled with an understanding.   It was an understanding that had always been there, but now was being absorbed throughout my entire being.

The tree grows up and forever, connecting us to Creators.  Our roots connects us here in the 3-Dimensional physical plane ... to all creation here.  I was more or less mumbling to myself at this point.  I saw from the corner of my eye that Emanuel was smiling.  It was then I realized I was standing in the midst of a forest so grand that even now it defies description.

"Now that you understand, share with others what you have learned."

And with that, Emanuel was gone.

*~*~*~*~*~*

When we look at a tree, we don't always notice the varying degrees of those branches.  How they sometimes twist and turn a certain way.  How they some times take on a life of their own at times.

Sometimes we just look at the tree as a whole, not taking in consideration the beautiful detailed and various independent expressions that make up that tree.   We just take for granted it is a tree with one particular purpose.

Same goes for Love itself.   Interesting isn't it?  How we are so focused on Love being one certain way we fail to notice the other aspects this energy entails.


I am left to wonder as I ponder my next question.  If we truly believe that all of creation is made up of this energy we call Love ... then why do we dismiss so much and claim so little?

Ahhh!  Now the plot really thickens!

Namaste!

Unless otherwise specified, ALL articles on this Blogger are the property of Julia K. Cole.  The ZEN of Duct Tape™, it's name, teachings, modalities, and all excerpts; the nicknames The Empress of the Known & Unknown Universes™ and The Diva of Duct Tape™,  The Duct Tape Diva™; Putting Reality Back Into Spirituality™, Reality back into Spirituality™ are the property and trade marks of Julia K. Cole and are protected under Copy Right Laws both here in the USA and Around The World.  

All Rights Reserved©™

Forgiveness: Part 3 ~ The By-Products of Forgiveness

 There are many  by products of practicing forgiveness.  Here in part 3 of my on going blog series entitled Forgiveness, we will take a look at a few of them.

Good Health and Genuine Happiness
It has been proven that people who practice forgiveness on a regular basis are healthier and happier.

When you live in the state of forgiveness, your body is more relaxed.  Your heart rate and blood pressure stay on a normal healthy level.  This in turn creates a better flow of oxygen to the brain. A better flow of oxygen leads to clearer thinking and the wherewithal  to remaining calm and centered even during stressful situations.

People who practice forgiveness are not blind to the events taking place in the world.  They are not ignorant of the negativity that exists here on the earthly plane.  On the contrary! 

 People who practice genuine forgiveness are very much aware of everything happening to them and all around them.    But instead of living as a prisoner to all the negativity, they consciously make a choice to take (and keep) control of themselves.   Because they  know first hand the damaging results of holding on to any pain, they consciously exert the effort to maintain the energies of forgiveness.  In particularly, the forgiveness of self.  

Clarity and Expanded Conscious Awareness
As you sift through all the pain, releasing it through unconditional love & forgiveness, you begin to see more clearly.    The act of forgiveness literally lifts the veil allowing you to see  everyone involved did the best they knew how at that given time.    Even in the most harsh situations, we now can see how we may have done better -- but were not in a position to do so at that time.   But now we know we did the best we could.  The best we knew how at that given time.  We now see that everyone was doing the best they knew how.

We now can see how we have benefited from all those experiences.  How it has created the person we are today.  How it has led us back to our true selves!

Through the act of forgiving our Self -- we can now take all the wonderful things we learned with us … leaving behind only those things that no longer serves us.   We can now walk upright, shoulders back and chin up.  We now know who and what we are.   

This knowing brings us to the next by product of the forgiveness of self  . . . 

Courage 

Forgiving one’s self -- genuinely and unconditionally -- brings a type of courage  that no one can take away.

Forgiveness of Self breaches the energies of  our self-imposed prison -- freeing us --opening up our eyes to all the lies we‘ve been told and had continued telling ourselves throughout our lives.  

Like a rubber band stretched too far -- we snap back into full awareness.  It is then we become conscious of -- and fully connected to --  who and what we are.  We feel the fuel of  righteous indignation bubbling up, reaching a boiling point … and that's when it  happens.   That's when We suddenly stand up and say with conviction … shouting it to the heavens ... our independence!   It is in that moment ... We take back our power!  We take back what  what is rightfully ours -- OUR SELF! 
We now ... finally and fully ... comprehend that Everything we experience comes from within.  That the choice to live in freedom or to live in a self-imposed prison was always our choice to make.   We finally get it!  

Feels good … doesn’t it?

So what are you waiting on?  Your Self is waiting for You!

“I can only show you the door … but only you can open it!” ~ Morpheus to Neo, The Matrix

(Excerpts from The ZEN of Duct Tape: An Empress Is Born!)

Embrace All that you are!
For YOU … are ALL that there Is!

Known as The Empress of the Known & Unknown Universes™ and The Diva of Duct Tape, Julia has made it her personal mission to put Reality back into Spirituality™. Julia sets out to assist people in expanding their conscious awareness through her rather unique and personal take on the human experience. 

In the style comparable to Erma Bombeck, Julia utilizes her own brand of humor and down to earth demeanor to get her messages across in an all so delightful way.  

PLEASE NOTE:  All artwork, unless otherwise specified, are the property of the individual artists themselves. The author of these blogs claims no ownership of the original artwork, but only of the sig tags created using said artwork. Each sig tag shown on these blogs include the appropriate copyright information of the Artists and the unique licensure for use.

Reproduction and copying of said work without proper authority is strictly prohibited

Forgiveness: Part 2 ~ Forgiving Self

When it comes to genuinely forgiving -- I fall short.  Way short!

I know this only because … I can rattle off the names of a half dozen people  who have gone out of their way to slander me, hurt me and my family in some way.   And not only that,   every once in a while -- I actually take a few minutes to envision these assholes  being trampled by a flock of 100 foot mutant chickens.   It puts a smile on my face!   Makes me giggle! 

Seriously -- who wouldn’t laugh at the thought of someone running from a gigantic chicken?


Don’t get me wrong -- I don’t spend too much time on these fantasies.   Those morons aren’t worth the time and energy.  But still … whenever I need a good laugh  … I just flip on that imagination switch and let those mutant chickens run rampant!

*~*~*

Entertaining thoughts such as these is what  EFT Practitioner Margaret Lynch refers to as “Negative Pleasures.”   According to Margaret, negative pleasures are one of the many ways we do battle with ourselves.  Granted,  while these negative pleasures do have their humorous side, they tend to keep us stuck  And being stuck  keeps us in “battle mode.”  Being in battle mode prevents us from living in freedom. 

As human experiencers -- living in freedom is our ultimate goal.

But how do you get past  being stuck in battle mode when the planet is over run by  the L.E.A. --League of Extraordinary Assholes?

Well it ain’t easy!  Then again … no one said it would be.  However,  we have at our disposal a wide range of tools,  methods and modalities  for  dealing with the hardcore members of the LEA.  One of which is EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) a.k.a. tapping.  

EFT is astoundingly helpful in releasing whatever unwanted and unneeded energies floating in and around our bodies.   However, when combined with other healing modalities, such as Ho’Oponopono, I have discovered that my  tapping  has an even more profound impact.

But don't just take my word for it -- try it out for yourself!

You can check out some of the free EFT sessions on You Tube with a  host of expert EFT Techs such as Margaret Lynch, Brad Yates, and Pamela Bruner.

*~*~*~*~*

Now when doing any type of  healing modality,  I always start with myself.  Reason being, like all of you, I carry around this guilt and shame for being a "secret member" of the L.E.A.  And too, I have a boat load of negative pleasures that I indulge in now and then.    While it does make me smile, I do have a bit of shame for visualizing someone’s demise.   So the very  first person who gets the healing  is me!

Why do I start with myself, you may ask?  Simple.  First of all,  on whole, we all tend to overlook our self when it comes to maintaining any level of health.  Be it spiritual, physical, emotional and/or mental.  We all tend to put ourselves last.     

Many years ago, I remember someone stating that we take better care of our vehicles than we do ourselves.  Not sure who originally said it -- but whoever it was they were one very observant cookie!

 Secondly, and most importantly,  forgiveness is really about Self anyways.  We are the ones who are holding on to the memories and experiences.  We are the ones living and reliving those episodes over and over again.   So it's only logical that we begin with Self!

In case of emergency ...
place the oxygen mask over your face FIRST!  

Then proceed to assist others!

If you ever traveled by airplane, you are familiar with these instructions given before take off.    These  same instructions hold true for any healing work!

Heal your Self -- FIRST!  

And ... The first steps to healing our Self begins with forgiveness of One's Self!

*~*~*~*~*

While forgiving others may prove difficult -- forgiving ourselves is a seemingly impossible and unreachable goal.  

There are endless reasons why we refuse to forgive ourselves.  Irregardless of the many reasons you can name -- it all comes down to one solitary belief … unworthiness. 

Unworthiness.  Worthlessness.  Low or non-existent Self-Worth.

Somewhere along the way … we were convinced that we are the most worthless beings on the face on  Planet Earth.  While the belief of unworthiness could have been triggered anywhere during the course of your life, chances are  it all stems from early childhood.   But only you can know for certain.  To find out, you (yes YOU) will have to take the time to literally dig through the huge piles of emotional bullshit to find the point of origin. 

It isn’t easy.  No one said it would be!  It will take time and patience to sift through all that crap.  And a lot of hankies! 

And folks … There are no short cuts to this process!  Trust me, if there was … I would have found them and used them-- a LONG time ago!

*~*~*

For me personally, my point of origin was easily detected.    The events compounding these beliefs of unworthiness is a very long list!   Trekking back in time, facing  the point of origin of my beliefs of unworthiness was heartbreaking.    But the more I went back, the more information I gleaned.  And the more information  I gleaned, the more my awareness expanded.  And the more my awareness expanded, the more my heart opened and allowed the forgiveness to flow more freely.

Coming  into the present -- I now can see with crystal clarity what my choices as a young child had set in motion.  And too, how The Universe, in it’s infinite wisdom, had begun to gently nudge me out of that mindset.

And how did it do this?

By placing in my path the same type of people, situations and experiences with the same exact messages of unworthiness!

*~*~*

I don’t know if you ever noticed this  -- but The Universe has this two by four to the side of the head method it implements!

Of course, it usually starts out with a ruler.   First it begins with a really subtle thump on the noggin.  If you get the lesson from that initial tap-- then you’re good to go! On to the next lesson!  Woo Hoo!!!   But ignore that little thump and the next thing you know … the ruler has been turned into a two by four … and before you have time to blink … BAM!  Right up side the head!  And you have no choice but pay attention to the lessons The Universe is providing!

Ever notice that?  Okay, maybe it’s just me then!  However, my point being … ignoring an issue -- any issue -- leads to  more of the same, each time it returns is more intense.  And to make matters worse -- ignoring issues tends to mount even more  feelings of unworthiness!   So before you know it -- you are caught in this vicious cycle of self-abuse.  Before too long you wind up  in a sea of utter despair.

As you  find yourself barely floating along--you manage to muster up enough strength to ask that all burning question … Why me?!!  Instead of throwing you a life preserver,  The Universe comes in with that two by four  and whacks you again and again! Each blow  harder than the last.

And it just keeps coming ...

Until …

You stop struggling!  Yell “UNCLE!” And proceed to forgiving yourself!

Yep!  The Universe is one helluva motivator -- ain’t it?   Unfortunately,  many view this process as cruel and unusual punishment.  They put all blame on The Universe!   Taking no responsibility for themselves.   Not really taking the time to understand and fully comprehend the way The Universe operates.   Which is … whatever you are in need of learning … The Universe supplies!  In abundance -- I might add!

 So if you are getting WHACKED upside the head … it is YOU who are doing it to YOU!

End of Story!

Now if you have any desire to place a cease and decease order on all the whacking upside the head … you will need to do one little thing.  And that is … genuinely, unconditionally, with love & compassion  -- forgive your … Self!

Yes!  It really is that simple!

The benefits of forgiving Self is infinite!  In fact, something truly marvelous happens when you genuinely forgive your Self!  All of which we will cover in Part 3 of this on-going blog series.

Until then …

Embrace ALL that you Are!
For you ARE … All That There Is!

Known as The Empress of the Known & Unknown Universes™ and The Diva of Duct Tape, Julia has made it her personal mission to put Reality back into Spirituality™. Julia sets out to assist people in expanding their conscious awareness through her rather unique and personal take on the human experience. 

In the style comparable to Erma Bombeck, Julia utilizes her own brand of humor and down to earth demeanor to get her messages across in an all so delightful way.  

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How Many Times? Seventy Times Seven!

I’m on week three of doing the 70x7 exercise -- and MAN!  Does my hand hurt! 

For those unfamiliar with this little process -- it is taken from the Christian Bible.

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”  Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”  ~Matthew 18:21-22  (NIV)

I never gave this passage  much thought until I was doing research.   My search lead me to Cat Saunders’ blog page “Four Principles of Effective Apology” -- where I found her article entitled “My Favorite Forgiveness Process.”

In her article, Cat  describes how she combined ideas from two of  her mentors in regard to forgiveness, Sondra  Ray and Morrnah Simeona.

One is the Ho’Oponopono phrases:  I’m Sorry, Please Forgive me, I love you and I thank you.

The other is literally writing out 70 times each day for 7 days the following:

I forgive ________ and ________ forgives me.  (you fill in the blanks)

In order to get the full effect -- it’s advised you do both  Ho’Oponopono (speaking the Ho’Oponopono phrases)  and the writing out of the above line 70x7. 

And by the way -- for those who have challenges with their hands (carpal tunnel; arthrities, etc.),    I have discovered through experimentation, that you can say this line 70 times each day and have the same affect.   As with writing out the lines I forgive ________ and ________ forgives me.  (you fill in the blanks), you cannot skip a day.  If you’re saying it -- you have to say it each and every day for Seven (7) days straight.  If you forget -- you have to start over -- from the beginning! 

No recording it and listening to it -- you must SAY IT!

Yea!  It’s a pain in the ass!  But that’s what you get for holding to all your bullshit!

Lesson Learned:  Holding on to shit -- makes for hard work!

Before I started the 70x7 process -- I compiled a list of all the people (and some situations and events) that I knew needed releasing.   It’s a long list -- and growing I might add!  I then looked the list over and chose which ones really jumped out at me and began my journey into the 70x7 process.

Cat urges the reader that while doing the 70 x 7 sentences, pay special  attention to the rest of your life as the week progresses.  During the seven days, notice how the process actually stimulates all your stuff to rise to the surface, like scum on a pond. Whatever stands in the way of forgiveness makes itself painfully apparent. [amended]  (excerpt from Helping Handbook by Dr. Cat Saunders, Source:  http://www.drcat.org/dchh/html/forgiveness.htm )

Well, I took Cat’s advice and all I can say is … it’s a damn good thing those I’ve been releasing should be thanking the deity of their choice they weren’t anywhere near me during this ritual!

Can we say outrage -- enraged -- and flat out pissed off? I’ve lost count over the last three weeks how much I just wanted to stomp the crap out of those people.  Two to three times during the course of each  week I’d wake up in the middle of the night so angry -- I punched the stuffing out of my pillow.   I also noted how many times I would break down and start crying. 

But I kept writing.  Even as the memories of the pain and humiliation each of those people had inflicted on me rose to the surface -- trying with all their might to stop me from continuing -- I kept writing.  I was so pissed off at one point -- I actually broke the pencil!  But I grabbed another and kept on writing until I reached my 70 times for that day.

By day 4, I was a bit more centered and calm.   By day 6 -- I noticed that I actually enjoyed doing it.   And by the seventh day -- I was relieved and felt so much lighter!

I’ve also noticed that I have become much calmer, more centered and grounded.   I also feel really good about myself too!

 The beauty of reciting Ho’Oponopono so many times per day  is … you begin to do it automatically -- without even thinking about it!!!     Everywhere I go, I catch myself saying Ho’Oponopono.   And I have seen some rather startling changes all over the place too!

Now here's something I didn't count on.  The neighborhood I live in has become quieter and more calm.  I get on a bus and if there is someone arguing or being loud -- no sooner do I get the word Ho’Oponopono out of my mouth, everyone becomes  settled down.  People are nicer and friendlier now.  Everywhere I go!

The inner joy that I’ve reconnected to has become a bit of an addiction for me now.  And I LIKE IT!   Yea, I still get pissed off -- but now getting back in my center is much quicker and easier these days.  Wow!  And only after a few weeks too!  Just imagine what the next three weeks will bring! 

Namaste!

About Julia K. Cole

Julia K. Cole is a psychic medium, internet radio show host,  Certified Spiritual Consultant,  Empowerment Coach and upcoming author. 

Known as The Empress of the Known & Unknown Universes™ and The Duct Tape Diva,  Julia has made it her personal mission to put Reality back into Spirituality.   Julia sets out to assist people in expanding their conscious awareness through her rather unique and personal take on the human experience.  In the style  of Erma Bombeck, Julia utilizes her own brand of humor and down to earth demeanor to get her messages across in an all so delightful way.

Sources:

http://www.drcat.org/dchh/html/forgiveness.htm

How to Practice Ho’Oponopono
http://www.ehow.com/how_4908232_practice-hooponopono-four-simple-steps.html

How Many Times ~ White Heart
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUZ4sPXoZCM

Consider This . . .

The person who hurt you either 

• Isn’t aware they have hurt you;
• Doesn’t care they hurt you;
• Has forgotten about the incident and moved on;
• Sleeps very well at night
• Has no issues with indigestion, headaches, back pain or any other kind of pain
• Is convinced you are in desperate need of getting a life,  getting laid or both
• Has steady relationships and a job
• Has no addictions or disorders
• Can hold a steady personal relationship/keep a job

You on the other hand …

• Can remember every detail of the incident and every syllable uttered;
• Have developed various types of ailments, joint pains, suffer from headaches, backaches,  a wide variety of  physical, mental and/or emotional health issues;
• Are angry, resentful and mistrustful;
• Either can’t sleep or sleeps way too much
• Now has an eating disorder
• Suffering from memory loss --huge chunks of your life is missing
• Has some sort of addiction (alcohol, drugs, sex, spending, gambling, food)
• Can’t hold down a job/Can’t keep a steady personal relationship
• Difficulty in focusing on anything outside the pain and suffering
• Suffers from Low self-esteem and self-worth

While these may not apply to every individual reading this -- I am willing to wager most of it does ring some bells!

So considering all the above -- seeing it in black and white -- do you still believe you are really making “they” -- “them” -- “that person” suffer by holding on to your pain?  You think/believe that you are exacting revenge by living your life in misery?

They -- who/whom ever “they” are -- are not suffering from what happened.  They’re free!  You on the other hand--  are in a prison of your own making! YOU are the one suffering -- not them!   You are the one punishing you!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

• Forgiveness is not the condoning of the actions that initiated the pain and suffering you experienced. 
• Forgiveness is not forgetting anything that transpired -- but reaching a state of mind where you can see those actions from an objective view point without any adverse reactions.

• Forgiveness is the refusal to carry the pain and suffering those actions initiated. 
• Forgiveness is the release of the pain and suffering you have carried throughout your human experience.

It is painfully obvious that the majority of people do not know the difference between forgetting and releasing.    No doubt this is perhaps one of the main reasons people are so skittish when it comes to forgiving.

Forgive and Forget?

Many have been taught that in order to reach a true state of forgiveness -- one must totally forget everything that happened to them.  This is a gross misconception that has been passed down by those who didn’t know any better.

To  “forgive and forget” means  to -- release that pain from your being!  Release yourself and be free!  Forget all about holding on to all that suffering -- holding all that pain!   

It does NOT mean forget the incident  itself!  Again, the forgetting portion of "Forgive & Forget is  --  forget all that clinging -- forget all that grasping -- forget  all that holding on -- to that which no longer serves you!   Forget that which no longer serves you and remember only what you have learned from the event(s).  Release the pain and be Free!

This is the true meaning behind the phrase “forgive and forget.”

*~*~*~*~*~*

Interesting thing about human experiencers -- they hold on to their pain and suffering as though it were a matter of life and death.  They justify clinging to their pain and suffering by relieving the incidents that transpired.  Caught up in their fears -- they can’t see what they have learned from any of the situations.    They can’t see past those incidents.  They refuse to let them go for whatever reason.  During the course of their human journey, they will go as far as reinventing the situation over and over again in their day to day life.

So and so did this or that-- said this or that.  They hurt me.  They should be made to pay for this, that or the other thing.   I’m a victim!  I’m in pain!  I can’t let go because they hurt me!

I can’t let go because they hurt me! 

I have to remember what they did so they will pay for it!  So they will see my suffering and they will be sorry!  

I’m sick!  I have this or that pain!  I have this or that disease.  All  because because they hurt me!  I’m making them pay with my physical, emotional and mental pain!  I can’t let go yet -- it doesn’t matter if I can’t sleep or sleep too much.  It doesn’t matter if I eat too much or can’t eat or keep anything down!  I have to do this because they hurt me!

They are going to pay for my suffering!  I won’t let it go until they pay for hurting me!  Even if it cost me my happiness -- and my life-- they are going to pay -- because they hurt me!

While a bit dramatic -- the above statements are more true than many of you reading this realize or even admit.

“I can’t! (or “I won’t)  Because they hurt me!”   Each and every time I bring up forgiveness -- 9 times out of 10 -- I will get this particular reply.  Sadly, I hear it a lot!    Sadder still -- each of these people who refuse to forgive suffer from a number of physical, emotional and mental maladies.   To add insult to injury -- the majority of them can’t keep a steady personal relationship.   And while many of them will admit they are holding grudges (i.e. their pain and suffering) -- they refuse to forgive!

For those of you who can’t and/or won’t forgive -- because “they” hurt you  … I urge you once again to Consider This ...

The person who hurt you either 

• Isn’t aware they have hurt you;
• Doesn’t care they hurt you;
• Has forgotten about the incident and moved on;
• Sleeps very well at night
• Has no issues with indigestion, headaches, back pain or any other kind of pain
• Is convinced you are in desperate need of getting a life or getting laid or both
• Has steady relationships and a job
• Has no addictions or disorders
• Can hold a steady personal relationship/keep a job

You on the other hand …

• Can remember every detail of the incident and every syllable uttered;
• Have developed various types of ailments, joint pains, suffer from headaches, backaches,  a wide variety of  physical, mental and/or emotional health issues;
• Are angry, resentful and mistrustful;
• Either can’t sleep or sleeps way too much
• Now has an eating disorder
• Suffering from memory loss --huge chunks of your life is missing
• Has some sort of addiction (alcohol, drugs, sex, spending, gambling, food)
• Can’t hold down a job/Can’t keep a steady personal relationship
• Difficulty in focusing on anything outside the pain and suffering
• Suffers from Low self-esteem and self-worth

Aren’t you tired?  Don’t you think it’s time you paroled yourself from this living hell?

*~*~*~*~*

Release yourself.  Not by forgetting what happened to you -- but  by refusing to carry that pain and suffering inflicted on you.  Release yourself by remembering the lessons these incidents brought to you.  Take that and start living your life in freedom!

It is said … the best revenge is Living Well!     Nothing pisses that "other person" off more -- than seeing you living happy and well!  And seeing how most of us are attempting to make that "other person" pay for the pain and suffering they inflicted -- well why not try something different?  Why not try living well -- and stop living in Hell!?

As long as you insist on the “I can’t let go because they hurt me!” mindset -- you will never be free!  You will continue to be their victim -- their slave-- their prisoner!

Your choice!  After all -- it is your life … or is it? 

I will leave you with the question posed to me by my spirit companion Antari …

“What is more important to you?  Your pain and suffering or your peace and joy?”

Namaste!

About Julia K. Cole

Known as The Empress of the Known & Unknown Universes™ and The Duct Tape Diva,  Julia has made it her personal mission to put Reality back into Spirituality.   Julia sets out to assist people in expanding their conscious awareness through her rather unique and personal take on the human experience.  In the style  of Erma Bombeck, Julia utilizes her own brand of humor and down to earth demeanor to get her messages across in an all so delightful way.


 

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