Self Love vs. Narcissism

If you don't love yourself ...how can you expect anyone to love you?

Contrary to what many may believe, Loving yourself is not an act of selfishness.   That would be narcissism.  Sadly, most confuse self-love with narcissism.   But I am here to tell you that there is a vast difference between self-love and being narcissistic.

Self-love is acceptance of who you are, as you are,  in this moment.  Narcissism detests acceptance of anything that does not meet it's unreachable standards and  is not perfect.

People with Self-love embrace change -- they actually welcome it.   They happily and gratefully accept the changes that occur with our bodies over time.   Self-love has no need to flaunt.  It requires no attention from outside sources as it is self contained and content. Narcissism, on the other hand, lives in constant fear of change.  And is terrified of not being admired and envied.  

Narcissism insists on being the center of attention and is in the constant need of validation and confirmation they are the best, the prettiest and sexiest.  To get that validation and confirmation, admiration and envy, a narcissist  will use every level of shock value it can muster to get it.

People with genuine Self-Love know who they are and require no outside confirmations on any level.
  

 Self-love allows you to be comfortable in your own skin and gives off an energy that attracts others to you naturally.  With self-love comes confidence.   Confidence  in knowing that there is no lack of anything --especially and in particularly -- Love.

Self-love brings peace of mind.  Narcissism brings fear and unrest.  

Once Again For Emphasis

Self-love holds no judgments of anyone.  Self Love accepts and lives by the "as is" policy.  Self Love lives in the knowing that nothing is ever truly lost.  And that all is as it should be

 Narcissism  sees itself as  better than anyone else, judging others as worthless and never amounting to anything all the while living in fear of losing everything and/or being found out.  

Self Love is the ever growing creative whirl of confidence.  Narcissism is the void that creates desperation.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Practice loving yourself each and every day!  

Embracing all that you are and remembering that you are All that there is!

oxoxoxoxox 

Known as The Empress of the Known & Unknown Universes™ and The Diva of Duct Tape, Julia has made it her personal mission to put Reality back into Spirituality™. Julia sets out to assist people in expanding their conscious awareness through her rather unique and personal take on the human experience. 

In the style of Erma Bombeck, Julia utilizes her own brand of humor and down to earth demeanor to get her messages across in an all so delightful way. 

PLEASE NOTE:  All artwork, unless otherwise specified, are the property of the individual artists themselves. The author of these blogs claims no ownership of the original artwork, but only of the sig tags created using said artwork. Each sig tag shown on these blogs include the appropriate copyright information of the Artists and the unique licensure for use.

Reproduction and copying of said work without proper authority is strictly prohibited


Unless otherwise specified, ALL articles on this Blogger are the property of Julia K. Cole.  The ZEN of Duct Tape™, it's name, teachings, modalities, and all excerpts; the nicknames The Empress of the Known & Unknown Universes™ and The Diva of Duct Tape™,  The Duct Tape Diva™; Putting Reality Back Into Spirituality™, Reality back into Spirituality™ are the property and trade marks of Julia K. Cole and are protected under Copy Right Laws both here in the USA and Around The World.  

All Rights Reserved©™

Valentine's Day Reality Check!

Around this time of year most people here in the United States,  and other places in the world as well, turn their attention towards love.   February being the month for St. Valentine's Day and all...it is to be expected

Sadly, as the masses set out to impress a love interest with an assortment of cards, gifts, dinners, cruises and all that there,  I guarantee that the majority of people will overlook--okay scratch that--they'll out right IGNORE one person in particular.  Their own Self.   

Not surprising really.  You see (as I'm pretty sure you already are aware) Human Experiencers develop the habit of overlooking his or her self early in their earthly life.  We Human Experiencers are told it is selfish to think of one's self!  To do for one's Self!    Then we are scolded to take better care of ourselves whenever we get sick.  Talk about your mixed messages.  Oy Vey!  No wonder the masses are dazed and confused!

But the all burning question is this.  Is it being selfish to love one's Self?   There is nothing conceited or narcissistic about loving one's self.  In fact, those who truly love and respect their own self are proven assets to be around.  The confidence that comes from genuine love of one's self shows in the way a person carries his/her physical body.  The way they speak and talk to others.  It's all there.  And it's very non-intrusive and quite wonderful.  

The more you love your Self, the more aware you become of other's feelings and intentions.  It's your very own psychic radar!  And this psychic radar gives you a heads up and  allows you to avoid those who try to put on airs and/or those with a hidden agenda.   

*~*~*~*

Over the years I have had to cut loose  people based on how much time and energy they exert in trying to prove themselves to me or one up me on everything;  or my favorite...spending their time, their energies and their resources on freeze dried bullshit that they have no intention in actually working through.  Or all of the above.   

Cutting these people loose didn't come easy.  Wish I could tell you it did.  But ... I can't!  But cutting them off has brought me a deeper peace and feeling of contentment, along with an expanded knowing that one day in the not too distant future...they too will come to discover genuine Self Love. 

Until that day arrives...I'm keeping a good healthy distance.  My gift to me for Valentine's!   

So is it selfishness to love yourself FIRST?  Well if you ever flown on a commercial air line you already know the emergency drill.  Put YOUR oxygen mask  on FIRST!   Then assist others in need!  Take a moment and think WHY.   And then go and contemplate the importance of loving your Own Self first.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Many, many, many years ago I was given a little self love exercise.  Each day I would stand in front of the mirror and state five (5) things I LOVE about My Self.   Now here's the catch.  The five things have to be about YOU and YOU ALONE!  

This is not about your kids, your pets, your spouse, your parents, siblings, etc., etc.  Just YOU!

Example:  I Love the way my eyes sparkle whenever I smile.   I love my sense of humor.  I love the color of my hair. I love  the shape of my nose.   I love how I can always find the good in any given situation. 

FYI:  These are actually things I love about me.  

Now there is another catch to this particular exercise.  *BIG Smile*  You have to look yourself in the eyes when saying what you love about your Self!    

In the beginning, try this exercise once a week and work your way up to doing it every day.  What do you have to lose?  Besides all those hang ups?  

*~*~*~*~*~*

To Love One's Self is a gift that keeps on giving.  It is a gift that inspires, motivates and lifts your Self and others higher.  Can't ask for a better Valentine's Day gift than that! 

About Julia K. Cole

What can you expect from someone who considers Putting Reality Back Into Spirituality a personal calling? Straight forward answers that lead to life-changing experiences on a soul level!

Known as The Empress of the Known & Unknown Universes™ and The Diva of Duct Tape, Julia has made it her personal mission to put Reality back into Spirituality™. Julia sets out to assist people in expanding their conscious awareness through her rather unique and personal take on the human experience. 

In the style of Erma Bombeck, Julia utilizes her own brand of humor and down to earth demeanor to get her messages across in an all so delightful way. 

As a writer, Julia is a virtual powerhouse of creativity.  Among Julia's literary accomplishments is  the  Children of the Luminaries  trilogy;  Book One: The Coming Storm can be purchased by clicking Here.   

Book Two  of the trilogy is due out in the Fall of 2015 and Book Three will be available in 2016.  The long anticipated ZEN of Duct Tape:  An Empress Is Born will be out in 2016.  As well as the Teddy Mitchell Chronicles.

Julia has also contributed to several other publications including Brad Steiger's  Real Zombies, The Living Dead, and Creatures of the Apocalypse  Click HERE for the review; and Marie D. Jones' Destiny vs. Choice  Click HERE    

PLEASE NOTE:  All artwork, unless otherwise specified, are the property of the individual artists themselves. The author of these blogs claims no ownership of the original artwork, but only of the sig tags created using said artwork. Each sig tag shown on these blogs include the appropriate copyright information of the Artists and the unique licensure for use.

Reproduction and copying of said work without proper authority is strictly prohibited


Unless otherwise specified, ALL articles on this Blogger are the property of Julia K. Cole.  The ZEN of Duct Tape™, it's name, teachings, modalities, and all excerpts; the nicknames The Empress of the Known & Unknown Universes™ and The Diva of Duct Tape™,  The Duct Tape Diva™; Putting Reality Back Into Spirituality™, Reality back into Spirituality™ are the property and trade marks of Julia K. Cole and are protected under Copy Right Laws both here in the USA and Around The World.  

National Bacon Day? OMG! BACON!!!!!!!

Here's something I didn't even know existed.  National Bacon Day!!!!  

Why am I ALWAYS the last to know these things??????!!!

Who would'a thunk it?    This is one for Bacon Lovers Everywhere!!!  Don't believe me?  Well Check it out for your self.  I stumbled across this on msnNOW.com   

Click HERE  or just copy and paste the URL below

http://now.msn.com/national-bacon-day-2013-photos-for-bacon-lovers