Yet Another Reason Why I Use Duct Tape!

You will be crying by the time you get through this...it's long, but worth it. 

I've re-titled this story: Yet Another Reason Why I Use Duct Tape.  

The original title is unknown, as is the author of this comedic master piece!

*~*~*~*

All hair removal methods have tricked us with promises of easy, painless removal - the epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now the wax. 

My night began as any other normal weekday night. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: Maybe I should pull the wax out of the medicine cabinet. So I headed to the site of my demise – the bathroom. 

It was one of those cold wax kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand and then they get warm and you peel them apart press it to your leg (or wherever else) and hair comes right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean I'm no girly girl, but I am mechanically inclined enough that I can figure it out. 

** YA THINK!!!!*** 

So, I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. Cold wax my rear end (Oh how this phrase haunts me!). I lay the strip across my thigh, hold the skin around it tight and pull. OK so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this!! Hair removal no longer eludes me!! I am She-ra, fighter of all wayward body hair and smooth skin extraordinaire. 

With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my vagina and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip!). I inhale deeply and brace myself. RRRRRRIIIIIPPPPPP!!!!! I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!.... OH MY GOD!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half of the strip. S*#T!!! Another deep breath and RRRIIIIPPPPP. Everything is swirly and spotted. Do I hear crashing drums???? 

OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip with my hairy pelt that has caused me such pain sticking to it. I hold up the strip. There's no hair on it! Where is the hair? WHERE IS THE WAX???? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. S*#T, I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. 

Then I make the next BIG mistake..remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet. I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. DAMN!!!! I hear the slamming of the cell door. Vagina? Sealed shut. Butt? Sealed shut. I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!" Hot water!!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right?? 

** WRONG!!!!!!*** 

I get in the tub – the water is slightly hotter than what they used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment – I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having either of your businesses glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub. In scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub!!! God bless the man that convinced me I should have a phone in the bathroom!!!! I call my friend thinking surely she's waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter "So, my butt and who-ha are stuck to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause. She doesn't have a secret trick but does try to hide the laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located on bottom, "Are we talking cheeks, hole or what?" She's laughing out loud by now. I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. 

YEAH!!!!! Right!!!!!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. 

While we go through various solutions, I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry shaving the sticky wax off!!! By now the brain is not working. Dignity has taken a major hike, and I slip in glazed donut land. My friend is still talking with me, and my hand reaches toward the saving grace. the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!! The scream probably woke the kids, scared the dickens out of my friend, but I really didn't care. "IT WORKS!! It works!!!" 

I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair...THE HAIR IS STILL THERE!!!!!!

 ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

So...I shaved it off. Heck. I am numb at this point. 

Next week, I’m going to try hair color.


~Author Unknown~

Six Things To Practice During 2014: 1 ~ Make Peace With Your Past~

Have you made peace with your past?

Before you answer that, take a moment and ask yourself the following questions:

Do you feel grounded each and every day?  Are you consciously aware of the present?
Are you genuinely at peace here in this moment?  Are you content with your life?  
Are you content with who you are? 

Do you rarely think of the past?   And when you do, can you honestly look back on past events and situations and have a better understanding of what took place and why?  Can you think about people whom you lost, be it through a physical death or them leaving you to be with someone else, and know it wasn't anything you did/didn't say or do/didn't do?   Can you think about these people without getting upset or going into a fit of rage?  Can look at your past and feel nothing but satisfaction and gratitude?

*~*~*

If you can answer yes to most of the above questions,  you're well on your way to being 100% at peace with your past!  
    
Sadly, many people can't answer yes to even one of those questions.  Not even one!    And reason being is they spend a great deal of their time dwelling on the past.  They linger in all the memories of times gone by.   Reliving the pain and anguish of the hurtful things said and done to them.   Or reliving all the wonderful memories they shared with a loved who passed on.   

Whether or not the memories are painful or pleasant, if you find you are spending more than half your days dwelling in the past, then you are not living fully in the here and now. 

*~*~*~*

So why do we dwell on our past so much?  Why do we  go there to linger in all the memories of what was?  

I've come to the conclusion that we go back  rehashing and reliving our past in the hopes that some way, some how, we can change the past, make it better, right the wrongs, soothe the pain and so on.    Maybe.  But the sad truth is so many  people literally live out their lives, living and re-living it all  in the hopes they can somehow change it and make it better.  Or just make it go away entirely.     Which by the way...never happens!

And then there are those who just refuse to even deal with the past on any level.  They just stuff it all  down deep in their gut or way back in the recesses of their minds.  Living out their lives filled with anger and/or perpetual denial.  Explains all the fucked up relationships don't it?

*~*~*~*~*~*

So I have to ask, when you look back on your life, what events do you recall having a tremendous impact on how your future was shaped?   What people and/or events still give you a negative emotional tug?

Perhaps it's an ex-lover,  unresolved issues with family or you are dealing with some type of regret for past actions. Whatever it is, it's time to get it cleared out and cleaned up! 

Clearing & Cleaning The Path For A Better Now

Clearing out and Cleaning up your past isn’t about forgetting.  It's about healing.  It's about acceptance.   Through accepting the past for what it is, you come into an understanding that what was doesn’t need to be a part of your present.  Or future!   Once this understanding sets in and takes hold, a wondrous healing takes over.  

To reconcile the past  you will be confronting all those areas that you resist the most.  Keeping in mind of course, Resistance is Futile!

 

Facing the past is the key to releasing it. 

Now to clarify things, I will impress upon you to remember that there is a vast difference between facing the past and just talking about the past.

While both exercises involving going back in time.  Facing the past puts you in a position of power as the observer.  Whereas, talking about the past makes you the participant.

Think about that for a few minutes.   Let it sink in.  

If your happiness isn't the reason to let go of your past, think about your family, your spouse, partner, boyfriend, girlfriend, children and friends. How have the events from your past impacted them? How you behave and act is what your kids will grow up emulating. By continuing to hold onto the past, not only are you destroying your own life, you are crushing the lives of all of those around you. If you choose to go down a path that is stuck in how your life used to be, the people around you will go down that path too.

*~*~*~*~*

Here's an exercise to help you zero in on how the past is impacting your life.

• Write down a list of every person you feel you've wronged.

• Write down a list of every person you own an apology to.

• Make a list of everyone you feel has wronged you.

• Write down a list of every person you feel you deserve an apology from.

If you want to be free from you past, let all of the people you named in the above exercise know how you feel. More times than not, you may be surprised that they have no idea what you're talking about. What made an indelible impression on you, turned out to be meaningless or of little concern to that other person. They simply had no clue you've been holding on to all of that negative emotion which ultimately weighed you down with self-created images of something that may or may not have happened.

Think of all the wonderful things you are missing out on this present by exerting all that focus on all the yesterdays.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

As with all addictions, healing your addiction to the past will take time and conscious effort.  


Embrace All that You are!   
For You ARE All  that There Is!


Namaste!

Next Blog:  

What Other People Think About Me Is None Of My Business!


Resources:  

Terry Ferry

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tom-ferry/self-help-are-you-addicte_b_631620.html

7 Senseless Habits to Drop in 2014

Motivational speaker and author Shawn Anderson takes the idea of "living a life you love" seriously. With a mission of empowering one million people to lead a more positive and purposeful life, Anderson shares seven senseless habits to let go of in 2014.

"Why would we ever want to live a life that makes us unhappy?" Anderson says. "We read everywhere about what we need to do to be successful. But I believe if we just change a few of our habits, we'd be much closer to leading a life we love." Anderson continues, "Sure, some of the seven items on the list may sound harsh, but if we don't stop doing them, the lousy results we will produce later will feel a lot harsher."

7 Senseless Habits to Drop in 2014

HABIT #1: Quit hanging out on Facebook. "Facebook is a fun way to kill time," Anderson says. "But that's what it does: it kills time. Time that could be used to create, inspire and build."

HABIT #2: Quit Keeping Up With the Kardashians. "Filling our heads with unedifying TV doesn't do a lot to help us achieve a better life," Anderson comments. "Instead, exchange an hour of TV time to build your own dream rather than a celebrity's dream."

HABIT #3: Quit staying up late. "The surest way to be unmotivated on a Monday is to stay up late on a Sunday. Want to feel energized? Watch a few more sunrises."

HABIT #4: Quit spending money you don't have. "Having the freedom to do what you want in life starts with not being chained down by financial obligations. Give your credit card a rest."

HABIT #5: Quit working at a job you hate. "Nothing saps the life out of you more than working at a job you hate. Find something else."

HABIT #6: Quit hanging out with negative people. "If you have people in your life who drain you of all that is positive, ask yourself 'Why in the world are they even in my life?'"

HABIT #7: Quit pointing fingers. "Take a massive leap forward and take responsibility for where you are in your life. It's not your boss's fault...or your spouse's...or the government's that you're not where you want to be. It's your own cause-and-effect decisions that have you sitting where you are."

Source:  ShawnAnderson.comShawnAnderson.com..

Officer Stops to Play Ball With Kid

Another Act of Random Kindness ...



This is the kind of dash cam video we usually see – police chases and general mayhem which makes this dash cam video remarkable and unforgettable. 

Saturday afternoon, Rosenberg Police Sergeant Ariel Soltura was on patrol, driving through an apartment complex parking lot when he saw a young man. He slowed down.

“And I saw he was throwing up a football and I could tell that was actually playing by himself - he wasn't just waiting for more kids to arrive,” he said.

Soltura could have continued driving but instead, he stopped.

“I literally got out of the car - I did like this which is the universal sign of throw me the football and at that time you just saw his face just lit up and he was ready to play,” Soltura said.

And so they did. Two men as Soltura says – playing football on a perfect day. The Rosenberg Police Department posted it on Facebook. Hours later, it had a about a quarter million likes. 

Truth be told Soltura says, it's part of the department's emphasis on community policing - not as adversaries, but as neighbors. What was captured on this dash cam video has gone viral but in a good way.

“It's important because we all live in this world together. We all make an impact in this world and I think it's important that we all put in our little bit and make it a better place,” Soltura said.

On this day, in this place, you could say that's what happened. All because of a kid with a football without anyone to throw it to, until a police officer arrived and threw it long.  

To read the rest of this story and to see the Video, Please Click HERE

7 Tips to Achieve Your Goals

As we move on from the holidays and settle into 2014, it’s common practice to set goals and resolutions for the new year. However, as many of us can attest to, many of these goals, especially long term ones, will fall by the wayside as the weeks and months pass by. This week we’ll be examining 7 simple tips for sticking to your goals and accomplishing them.

#1  Live up to your own expectations. Set your own goals, not those someone else’s. By setting the bar yourself, you will be more motivated to reach your goals and push yourself beyond your initial expectations.

#2  Write your goal down. Be specific and always keep it visible as a reminder.

#3  Reward yourself to celebrate achieving small milestones. Motivate yourself with a small reward for each step you accomplish toward achieving your goal. This can be something as simple as taking yourself out to lunch, taking a break to do something you enjoy, spending time with friends and family, or buying something to help with the next stage of your goal.

#4  Eliminate distractions and avoid taking on too many activities all at once. Stay focused on the task at hand to avoid getting sidetracked. Break the task down into small incremental steps to keep your goal realistic and don’t multitask.

#5  Get all the facts. Weigh all of the facts before you come to a decision in order to make the most informed choices possible.

#6  Dream big. Set your sights high, even on the outrageous. Better to set the bar too high than too low.

   

#7  Be willing to fail. Accept the fact that you might fail, learn from your mistakes, and get back on the horse. It’s better to regret something you have tried then something you haven’t tried. 

SOURCE:  Dale Carnegie Digital Tips

Dale Carnegie Training, www.dalecarnegie.com

Four Kittens Break Into Prison!

The feisty felines found their way into the Great Meadow Correctional Facility and there they have stayed.   

The reason they haven’t been kicked out may seem unlikely.

It turns out the inmates like them. And the feeling seems to be mutual.

The kittens were in poor physical shape when they first “broke in to the prison.

But one prisoner quickly built them a “kitty condo” from scraps and began to care for them.

Now Bruce Porter, the electrician for the pen, takes care of the animals during the week. Porter told The PostStar.com, “I’ve got a soft heart for any sort of animal. I don’t mind helping them out a bit.”

On weekends when Porter is not there, an inmate known as the cat whisperer watches after them. 

But Doc, Meadow, Annie, and Comstock -- as they have been named -- won’t have a life sentence in the big house.

The kittens will soon be adopted and have homes of their own.

Source: KRMG Talk Radio 

Story by Rick Couri

Feds blow $100 billion a year on incorrect payments

Between 2002 and 2012, federal agencies spent more than half a trillion dollars ($688 billion) on payments that should never have been made. 

Every year, according to their own record-keeping, the agencies that administer major federal programs are now paying out more than $100 billion improperly, and even though they're aware of the problem, they recover only a tiny fraction for taxpayers. This adds up to huge losses for the U.S. Treasury.

In 2012 alone, the Office of Management and Budget gathered data on just 13 high-error programs in the federal government, and determined that they made a combined $101.3 billion in improper payments. To put that in perspective, that's almost $16 billion more than the highly controversial budget sequester wound up cutting from government spending in 2013.

The government doesn't get a whole lot of that money back. In July, then-Controller of the Office of Management and Budget Daniel Werfel testified in a Senate hearing that over the preceding two years, the government had recaptured only $2 billion in improper payments.

• Your taxes wasted on a $120 million parking center

To be clear, the term "improper payment" covers many problems and is not limited to out-and-out fraud. It can include payments made in error, either through the fault of the agency itself or the person claiming the payment. But what the vast majority of the instances of improper payment have in common is that they represent money that shouldn't be paid out at all leaving the Federal Treasury and not coming back.

As part of their annual financial reports, federal agencies are required to estimate the payment error rate of the programs they administer, and for some of the biggest benefits programs, the percentage of payments deemed improper reaches double digits, and tens of billions of dollars.

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