Acceptance -- A Special Mother's Day Gift For You!

One of the most important lessons I've learned as a mother is acceptance.   It isn't easy accepting opinions that you weren't/aren't good enough.  Especially when those particular opinions come from your offspring.  But if you're honest with yourself, you will accept it and move on.  Which I have.  

I'll be the first to admit that I was not the greatest mother who ever lived.  Wasn't the worst either.  But still wasn't the best.  And guess what?  I ... don't ... CARE!  I did the best I could at the time. If that wasn't/isn't good enough for my hell spawn or my family or friends, etc. Then so be it.  I own my mistakes.  Take responsibility for them.   I do not offer up any excuses or attempts to justify myself.  I accept all that I did, didn't do, say, didn't say.   In the end...the only opinions that matter are mine and  that of my Creators.   Everyone else's opinions are just background noise.   

Acceptance, you see,  is the saving grace of all those who managed to fuck up on some level, in some way, shape or form!  Acceptance isn't easy.  Then again, no one said it would be!

Many of you reading this may remember watching The Carol Burnette Show.  It was a weekly variety television show that brought us the skit  Mama's Family (this skit later  became a weekly TV show).   This family was the living embodiment of dysfunctional families.  They reflected our family very well.  As I'm sure they did many families.  The show's finale gave us Eunice (the eldest daughter and main character in the skit) going to a therapist.  It was a bittersweet moment that stuck with me.  Not so much that it was an end to my favorite Saturday night show, but that it provided me with a phrase that proved throughout the years to be very useful.   And that phrase was ...   

Would've, could've and should've are words we don't use, because when we do, they only give us the blues!

Pretty damn profound for a comedy show! 

I know there are a lot of you moms (and dads) out there beating yourselves up over the belief you're  not being good enough.   But you are.  Yea, you might fuck it up here and there.  But what's the human experience without the fuck ups?  Do the best you can and give the guilt trips a rest already.   Acceptance isn't easy.  No one said it would be!

Believe it or not, children are people.  Not only do they have their own path to walk, they have their own shitty opinions.   We  as parents are here to guide and teach them.  We are not here to control every little aspect of their lives.  And we certainly have no control over their thought processes. We are here to allow them to have their own point of view--but at the same time--show them that facts are very important in order to form an intelligent opinion.  We are here to teach our  Children to be  responsible for their own actions.  Unfortunately, not all children will accept that lesson right away--if at all.  And that too is something we, as parents, must accept.

If the kid decides you and your entire way of believing and thinking stinks... then so be it!    Let it go!  Let it be!  They're people!  Just like you.  And they have opinions -- maybe not the most intelligent well thought out opinion--but they are entitled to them nonetheless.  Your job is to not take it personal.  Because it isn't.  Acceptance of that isn't easy.  No one said it would be!

And for the child who decides that they have no responsibility in how they act and  speak.  You know the one.  That kid who blames the parent--particularly the mother--for everything that goes wrong in their life.  To them I say thank you for the ego boost -- but you give me way too much credit...and power.  Sorry kid!  It doesn't work that way.  And that's too bad really.  Because I swear to you IF I had that kind of power -- you wouldn't be such a little dick.  Probably not even breathing!   Now would you?  No.  You would not!     I brought you into this world!  I can't take you .... Sorry.  I had a flashback there!  

Acceptance!  Not easy.  No one said it would be!  Gross understatement.  

For all you moms out there striving to be perfect ... knock it off!  You're not perfect.  You never will be.  The only thing you can be is accepting of all your flaws and fuck ups.  Do your best that you know to do...then let it go and let it be.  

For those of you still struggling with acceptance, I leave you with this little gem from The Carol Burnette Show ... 

Would've, could've and should've are words we don't use, because when we do, they only give us the blues!

  

Known as The Empress of the Known & Unknown Universes™ and The Diva of Duct Tape, Julia has made it her personal mission to put Reality back into Spirituality™. Julia sets out to assist people in expanding their conscious awareness through her rather unique and personal take on the human experience. 

In the style of Erma Bombeck, Julia utilizes her own brand of humor and down to earth demeanor to get her messages across in an all so delightful way. 

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