Wednesday, December 24, 2014

What Are Policemen Made Of?

Wanted to share this with all of you this Christmas Eve 2014.   Please feel free to pass it around on your social networks.  


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What Are Policemen Made Of? 
By Paul Harvey

Don't credit me with the mongrel prose: it has many parents-at least 420,000 of them: Policemen.

A Policeman is a composite of what all men are, mingling of a saint and sinner, dust and deity.   Gulled statistics wave the fan over the stinkers, underscore instances of dishonesty and brutality because they are "new". What they really mean is that they are exceptional, unusual, not commonplace.

Buried under the frost is the fact: Less than one-half of one percent of policemen misfit the uniform. That's a better average than you'd find among clergy!

What is a policeman made of? He, of all men, is once the most needed and the most unwanted. He's a strangely nameless creature who is "sir" to his face and "fuzz" to his back

He must be such a diplomat that he can settle differences between individuals so that each will think he won.

But...If the policeman is neat, he's conceited; if he's careless, he's a bum. If he's pleasant, he's flirting;if not, he's a grouch.

He must make an instant decision which would require months for a lawyer to make.    But...If he hurries, he's careless; if he's deliberate, he's lazy. He must be first to an accident and infallible with his diagnosis. He must be able to start breathing, stop bleeding, tie splints and, above all, be sure the victim goes home without a limp. Or expect to be sued.

The police officer must know every gun, draw on the run, and hit where it doesn't hurt.He must be able to whip two men twice his size and half his age without damaging his uniform and without being "brutal". If you hit him, he's a coward. If he hits you, he's a bully.

A policeman must know everything-and not tell. He must know where all the sin is and not partake.    A policeman must, from a single strand of hair, be able to describe the crime, the weapon and the criminal- and tell you where the criminal is hiding.

But...If he catches the criminal, he's lucky; if he doesn't, he's a dunce. If he gets promoted, he has political pull; if he doesn't, he's a dullard. The policeman must chase a bum lead to a dead-end, stake out ten nights to tag one witness who saw it happen-but refused to remember.

The policeman must be a minister, a social worker, a diplomat, a tough guy and a gentleman.


And, of course, he'd have to be genius....For he will have to feed a family on a policeman's salary.

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Share this with those you know in Law Enforcement or who has family in Law Enforcement.  Take the time to show  your support to the men and women who are in the percentage of GOOD GUY!


Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Christmas 2014 Sig Tags!

Here are some of my sig tags for Christmas 2014

Please Be Advised:  ADULT CONTENT






































Monday, December 22, 2014

I think Santa Claus is a woman....


I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's a she. Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off! 

For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. It's as if they are all frozen in some kind of Ebenezerian Time Warp until 3 p.m. on Dec. 24th, when they - with amazing calm - call other errant men and plan for a last-minute shopping spree. Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves. (You might think this would send them into a fit of panic and guilt, but my husband tells me it's an enormous relief because it lessens the 11th hour decision-making burden.) On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman. Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the bag. 

Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and strapped on to the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen's rack would already be on the way to the taxidermist. Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer, he'd still have transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions. Add to this the fact that there would be unavoidable delays in the chimney, where the Bob Vila-like Santa would stop to inspect and repoint bricks in the flue. He would also need to check for carbon monoxide fumes in every gas fireplace, and get under every Christmas tree that is > crooked to straighten it to a perfectly upright 90-degree angle. 

Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man: 

* Men can't pack a bag. 

* Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet. 

* Men would feel their masculinity is threatened...having to be seen with all those elves. 

* Men don't answer their mail. 

* Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described even in jest as anything remotely resembling a 'bowlful of jelly.' 

* Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them. 

* Having to do the Ho Ho Ho thing would seriously inhibit their ability to pick up women. 

* Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment. 

I can buy the fact that other mythical holiday characters are men......... 

Father Time shows up once a year unshaven and looking ominous. Definite guy. Cupid flies around carrying weapons. Uncle Sam is a politician who likes to point fingers. Any one of these individuals could pass the testosterone screening test. But not St. Nick. Not a chance. 

As long as we have each other, good will, peace on earth, faith and Nat King Cole's version of 'The Christmas Song,' it probably makes little difference what gender Santa is. 

I just wish she'd quit dressing like a guy!!! 


Source:  http://jokeindex.com/





LAST DAY TO SAVE $3 OFF SALE PRICE ($11.95)




Last Day to  SAVE $3 off the sale price ($11.95)




Available in paperback and on Kindle!







Children of the Luminaries Trilogy. 

Imagine...all you held dear, your way of life, all that you knew, was suddenly and tragically taken away.

Imagine...being but only one of 13 survivors of a once powerful race of people.

Imagine...being told you were chosen to be a warrior that must face and defeat your most feared enemy.

Imagine...learning of a distant world where the dark lord now inhabits and controls. The same world where your 12 loved ones were sent; and where they reside with no memories of their prior existence...no memories of you.

Imagine...being informed that in order to save those you love, you most first rid this world of the dark lord and his minions.

What would you do? How far would you go to save those you love?



*~*~*~*~*

Book I: The Coming Storm launches the saga of The Oracle and her mentor Demetrius as they set out on a quest of a life time. Their mission... to stop the Dark Lord Dagon from finding the Ultimate Power and becoming supreme ruler of all worlds!



*********


From ALL of Us at Owl Diva Publishing...





Friday, December 19, 2014

#SaveBela campaign may spare dog’s life

Connie Ley made an unusual request in her will before she died last month in Aurora, Indiana: She asked that her German shepherd, Bela, be euthanized and buried with her.

Three weeks later, however, Bela, who is 9 years old and male, is healthy and very much alive. And there’s a growing movement on social media to defy his late owner’s wishes and spare the animal.


Ley’s attorney, Doug Denmure, told CNN affiliate WCPO-TV that his late client preferred to send Bela to Best Friends Animal Society’s no-kill sanctuary in southern Utah to live out the remainder of his days.


But if transporting the dog across the country proved too expensive, Ley wanted a close friend to take charge of Bela and carry out her request that “the dog be put to sleep, cremated and that the dog’s ashes be placed with her own ashes.”


Read More

Source: http://fox43.com/


Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Save $3 Off Sale Price Order NOW and get it BEFORE Christmas!

TO GET IT BEFORE CHRISTMAS


ORDER NOW and SAVE $3 off sale price ($11.95)

Now through 12/22/24 Save $3 when you purchase Book One of Children of the Luminaries




Available in paperback and on Kindle!







Children of the Luminaries Trilogy. 

Imagine...all you held dear, your way of life, all that you knew, was suddenly and tragically taken away.

Imagine...being but only one of 13 survivors of a once powerful race of people.

Imagine...being told you were chosen to be a warrior that must face and defeat your most feared enemy.

Imagine...learning of a distant world where the dark lord now inhabits and controls. The same world where your 12 loved ones were sent; and where they reside with no memories of their prior existence...no memories of you.

Imagine...being informed that in order to save those you love, you most first rid this world of the dark lord and his minions.

What would you do? How far would you go to save those you love?



*~*~*~*~*

Book I: The Coming Storm launches the saga of The Oracle and her mentor Demetrius as they set out on a quest of a life time. Their mission... to stop the Dark Lord Dagon from finding the Ultimate Power and becoming supreme ruler of all worlds!



*********


From ALL of Us at Owl Diva Publishing...





Order Children of the Luminaries Book One The Coming Storm NOW to Get It Before Christmas

TO GET IT BEFORE CHRISTMAS


ORDER NOW!


Available in paperback and on Kindle!







Children of the Luminaries Trilogy. 

Imagine...all you held dear, your way of life, all that you knew, was suddenly and tragically taken away.

Imagine...being but only one of 13 survivors of a once powerful race of people.

Imagine...being told you were chosen to be a warrior that must face and defeat your most feared enemy.

Imagine...learning of a distant world where the dark lord now inhabits and controls. The same world where your 12 loved ones were sent; and where they reside with no memories of their prior existence...no memories of you.

Imagine...being informed that in order to save those you love, you most first rid this world of the dark lord and his minions.

What would you do? How far would you go to save those you love?



*~*~*~*~*

Book I: The Coming Storm launches the saga of The Oracle and her mentor Demetrius as they set out on a quest of a life time. Their mission... to stop the Dark Lord Dagon from finding the Ultimate Power and becoming supreme ruler of all worlds!



*********


FROM MY FAMILY TO YOURS...